Her hair tossed back over one shoulder exposing a partial smile, a look of concentration, and the blue and white cheerleading sweats which seen to be who she is, all bubbly and smiling during her half-time acrobatics. This personna is perceived by all and assumed to be the extent of her personality.
It was during a basketball game when a fellow OCHS cheerleader, while doing a flip, dislocated her shoulder. Unsurprisingly, she quickly offered her assistance to her fallen comrade. She sat with her on the bench for a while, her arm around her, consoling her and futily trying to absorb some of the pain her friend was suffering.
But behind that uniform lies another person waiting to come out and say, "I'm here! Take me as I am." Hoping that the world will embrace her for who she really is, not just a carefree cheerleader in a short skirt. True, she is beautiful, but physical beauty is not all she has to offer. And yes, she flirts, smiles, and laughs, because that is what has become expected of her. Not because that is what she wants.
In your mind's eye, picture her hunched over her math book writing furiously while the rest drop their pencils and utter sighs of defeat. But she works doggedly along, determined not to be defeated by a single problem.Suddenly, she emits an "OH!" and continues feverishly, stopping only to lay her pencil down in triumph. A true honors student, she has overcome an obstacle which had defeated many before her.
Two weeks into composition class she wrote a beautiful biopoem entitled "I." Though beauty is in the proverbial eye of the beholder,beautiful writing must come from the heart. This composition came directly from her heart to the paper and painted an appealing portrait of her innerself that she could be better understood as a person and questioned less about her behavior by those who are little more than acquaintances.
There is but another side to her. A side which is locked-up, hidden and only a privilaged few have seen it. This is her essence, her innerbeing, the basis for all she believes is right. Very few have seen this part of her, because so very few wish to give of themselves to her. They must win her trust so she may be secure around them and open herself to them, and not be afraid of what they may say or do for they are the trusted few.
Now she's sitting in the corner, between a desk and the wall, all curled up transcribing pages of her history. She lets her feelings flow out, but stays closely confined so as to not let her emotions escape out into the room and so damage her facade which would allow people to see in where she wishes them not to peer. Curling into a ball as an armadillo does, protecting its self with its outer shell, she hides the more tender side of herself from all the world except from those who win her trust.
Honest, caring, a little bit scared, but determined to conquer her fears; a person to be admired. This is the real Shelbie Deibel.Written: October 1989
Since February 15, 1996,
I have happily served seekers.
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