pages by usher tm Updated: 16.Aug.2003

The Gettyswookiee Address:

Four razors and seven ewoks ago, our shavers brought forth on his countenance a new wookiee, covered in lather and depilatated to the proposition that all wookiees are shaven equal. Now we are engaged in a shaving cream war, testing whether that wookiee or any wookiee so shaven and so depilatated can long endure. We are met in a great barbershop of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that shop as a final resting-place for those Bics who gave their all that that wookiee might shave. It is altogether fitting and proper that we shouldn't do this. But in a larger sense, we cannot depilatate, we cannot exfoliate, we cannot lather this shop. The brave men, living and dead who struggled here depilatated him far above our poor power razor's capacity. The galaxy will little stubble nor long hairs allow to grow here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us living rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who shaved here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us - that from these honored shavers we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of their lotion - that we here highly resolve that these barbers shall not have shaven in vain, that this wookiee One with the Force shall have a new birth of freedom, and that shaving of the wookiees, by the wookiees, for the wookiees shall not perish from the galaxy.

The Gettyswookiee Address was created June 21, 1997 by Michael "usher" Melosh.
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