EXT. DAGOBAH - DAY

With Yoda & a laptop strapped to his back, Luke climbs up one of the many
thick cables that connect in the swamp.  Panting heavily, he continues his
course -- FTPing, SSH-ing through firewalls, jumping over power supplies,
and HTTPing in and out of heavy net congestion.

YODA:	Run! Yes.  A Jedi's strength flows from the Force.  But
	beware of the dark side.  AOL...MSN...WebTV.  The dark side
	of the Force are they.  Easily they flow, quick to join
	you in a fight.  If once you start down the dark path,
	forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will,
	as it did Obi-Wan's newbie.

LUKE:	Vader.  Is the dark side stronger?

YODA:	No... no... no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.

LUKE:	But how am I to know the good side from the bad?

YODA:	You will know.  When you are calm, at peace.  
	Passive.  A Jedi uses the Force for
	trolling and off-topic, never for flames.

LUKE:	But tell me why I can't...

YODA:	(interrupting)  No, no, there is no why.  Nothing more
	will I teach you today.  Clear your mind of FAQs.
	Mmm.  Mmmmmmmm.

Artoo beeps in the distance as Luke lowers Yoda to the ground.  Breathing
heavily, he takes his PalmPilot from a nearby tree and puts it in his
pocket.

He turns to see a huge, dormant, black UPS, its base surrounded by a few
feet of water.  Giant, twisted ethernet cables form a dark and sinister cave
on one side.  Luke stares at the UPS, trembling.

LUKE:	There's something not right here.

Yoda sits on a large cable, using his gimer stick to power up the laptop.

LUKE:	I feel cold, death.

YODA:	That place...is strong with the dark side of the Force.  A domain
	of AOL it is.  In you must go.

LUKE:	What's in there?

YODA:	Only what you take with you.

Luke looks warily between the UPS and Yoda.  He starts to strap on his belt.

YODA:	Your bookmarks... you will not need them.

Luke gives the UPS a long look, then shakes his head "no."  Yoda shrugs.
Luke reaches up to brush aside some hanging cables and enters the UPS.

INT. DAGOBAH - UPS CAVE

Luke moves into the almost total darkness of the wet and slimy cave.
The youth can barely make out the edge of the passage, save for the
occassional "you have mail" chime.  Holding his GloStik in front of
him, he sees a lizard crawling up the side of the cave and
a snake wrapped around the cables of the UPS.  Luke draws a deep breath,
then pushes deeper into the cave.

The space widens around him, but he feels that rather than sees it.  His
GloStik casts the only light as he peers into the darkness.  It is very
quiet here.

Then a loud SNAP! Darth Vader appears across the blackness,illuminated by
his own just-ignited GloStik.  Immediately, he charges Luke, GloStik
held high.  He is upon the youth in seconds, but Luke sidesteps perfectly
and throws a keyboard at him.

Vader is decapitated.  His helmet-encased head flies from his shoulders as
his body disappears into the darkness. The metallic banging on the helmet
fills the cave as Vader's head spins and bounces, smashes on the floor,
and finally stops.  For an instant it rests on the floor, then it cracks
vertically.  The black helmet and breath mask fall away to reveal...Luke's
head.

Across the space, the standing Luke gasps at the sight, wide-eyed in terror.

The decapitated head fades away, as in a vision.

EXT. DAGOBAH - CAVE - DUSK

Meanwhile, Yoda sits on the cable, calmly playing Minesweeper.