From: CardSafeNOSPAM@unix.asb.com (Rich Handley)
Subject: GONK DISSES ALL STAR WARS FANS
Date: 15 Sep 1999 00:00:00 GMT
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc

I can't believe how rude this is -- check this out!



        GONK DISMAYED BY STAR WARS MANIA
        London, Unassociated Press (U.A.P.)

        He's small, he's headless, he's monosyllabic, and he's dismayed.  He's
Gonk, and for years he has played the famed power droid of the
original Star Wars trilogy.  In a recent interview with The London
Malingerer, a British tabloid, he expressed his disgust at hordes of
fans flocking to see the films repeatedly and worshipping his
character.  When asked for comment, he spoke eloquently and at length
on the subject: "Gonk... Gonk... Gonk..."  When pressed for comment,
he went on to briefly add that "I am eternally perplexed by the
fortitude and zeal with which some of my more fanatical fans -- if I
may be so bold as to use a root word and its derivative in consecutive
order -- have repeatedly adorned me with their lavish praise.  It
disturbs me to know end, and they should be ashamed of themselves.
Bad, bad, naughty fans -- dirty, evil fans!  Shame, shame, shame --
for shame!"  Gonk then went on to say "Gonk" four more times,
recharged several nearby cameras and other stage equipment being
utilized for the interview, and finally wandered aimlessly off the
side of the building due to a lack of visual sensory apparati.  A
spokesperson for the neo-deity says that Gonk is doing well and has
been given a clean bill of health by his mechanic.


Sincerely,

Rich Handley (CardSafe@NO-SPAMunix.asb.com)