Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc Subject: Imperial Application Form From: Super Psycho Space Kid Date: Fri, 10 Oct 1997 13:01:06 +0100 Is this your des...tiny? STORMTROOPERS Do you think they may have split up? Are these the droids your looking for? Do you understand the concept that no two objects can occupy the same space (e.g. helmets and door-frames)? Do you understand the concept of aiming? Why aren't you at your post? DETENTION OFFICERS Where are you taking this... thing? Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc Subject: Re: Imperial Application Form From: shl10@cornell.edu (Simon H. Lee) Date: Fri, 10 Oct 97 15:43:01 GMT Do you want to take shots at heroes and miss them? Does being hit with a rock scare you? DETENTION OFFICERS Where are you taking this... thing? TIE FIGHTER PILOTS Do you like not having to memorize any dialog? Do you really think you'll need to learn how to land that thing? Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc Subject: Re: Imperial Application Form From: oblio@death-star.com (oblio-1) Date: Fri, 10 Oct 1997 18:35:30 GMT STORMTROOPERS do you know droids have big washers? are you afraid of teddybears armed to the teeth with sticks and stones? DETENTION OFFICERS can you shoot with one arm behind your back? do you like probing princesses? TIE FIGHTER PILOTS do you have any next of kin? can you smile all the time? do you understand the concept of 3,720 to 1? Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc Subject: Re: Imperial Application Form From: tarkin@womens.slippers.com (James Trory) Date: Fri, 10 Oct 1997 22:46:55 GMT DARK SIDE WARRIORS Do you find people's lack of faith disturbing? Do you have any long-lost children who might join the Rebellion? Do you believe that the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force? How often do you sense something. A presence you've not felt since.... Did the Emperor foresee this? STORMTROOPERS Do you have a habit of picking anything up that's round and associating it with droids? DETENTION OFFICERS Are you likely to believe another officer when they tell you over the comm that they've got a large reactor leak.... very dangerous? TIE FIGHTER PILOTS When you're flying down a trench and someone fires on you, are you likely to panic, completely lose control and fly into a ray shielded wall? FOREST MOON OFFICERS Are you stupid enough not to notice when a Rebel is dressed up like an AT-ST driver and hides his entire face with his hand and the comm radio? When you're stupid enough to actually do the above, are you even more stupid enough to run outside, and when confronted by about three Rebels and a group of teddy bears, NOT open fire on them when you clearly out-number and out-gun them?