Subject: Jar Jar Binks kills 2, self
Date: 07 Apr 2000 04:23:59 GMT
From: dtyner5446@aol.com (DTyner5446)
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc

Hollywood was shocked today to learn that Star Wars actor Jar Jar Binks walked
into an Arby's, pulled out a gun and started firing, killing two and injuring
four, before turning the gun on himself.  He was 23.

People close to Binks, born Jerome Binklestein, say he had recently been
through a dark depression, due to both the negative reviews of his performance
in "The Phantom Menace" and his recent breakup with actress Jennifer Elise Cox.
But, friends say, he seemed to have gotten over it; he was excited about
reprising his role in Episode 2, and was working with a vocal coach to clear up
his speech. Why he chose this tragic end is a mystery to all.

"He just came in and started shootin'," said Vonda Gribble, an Arby's employee
who witnessed the shooting.  "He said some stuff that I couldn't quite
understand, then pulled out a big ass gun and killed those two guys.  It was
sad."  The two men killed in the shooting were not employed in the
entertainment industry, and consequently, are of no importance.

While speaking to reporters outside his North Hollywood home, a grief stricken
Boss Nass discussed the death of his good friend.  "Dis bombad news. Mesa no
like dis," spoke Nass, after which he shook his jowls and drenched the
reporters with spittle.

Not everyone was saddened by Binks's death. "I'm glad he's dead," sneered
sci-fi columnist Mark Altman, rubbing his goatee pretentiously. "Now he can't
ruin Episode 2 with his hyperactive, wacky antics." Altman recently wrote the
film "Free Enterprise," featuring the hyperactive, wacky antics of William
Shatner.

George Lucas, who directed Binks in The Phantom Menace, issued a press release,
which said, in part: "Jar Jar, or J.J. as we called him, was a consummate
professional and was a delight to have on the set.  We will miss his warm humor
and gentle spirit. I choose to remember the good memories, rather than dwell on
the sordid details of his death. And good Lord, are they sordid."

This is not the first tragedy to strike the Star Wars universe.  Jabba the Hutt
died of a heart attack in 1992, necessitating the use of a CG replacement in
The Phantom Menace and Star Wars: Special Edition.  More recently, Greedo
McPheely was killed in a bar fight, sadly reminscent of his on-screen death in
"A New Hope."  Lucasfilm plans to replace Binks with actor Dustin Diamond.