From: Eric Bycer
Date: 20 Nov 1996

Amara (apron@cleo.murdoch.edu.au) wrote:

: Giggle! Vader Vs Crash Bandicoot or Vader vs the Mario Brothers...  Could 
: fader withstand the force of a fat plumber jumping on his head and all 
: the ky00te and happy sound effects? :)

: Amy  :)

I love you, Amy...

Vader: What have you done with those plans?

Mario: Luigi?  Do you know what dis guy's talkin' about?

Luigi: Maybe we can discuss this over pizza or linguini, eh, uh, Mario, 
what did this guy say his name was?

Vader: (Begin Imperial March) I am Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith.  
Don't make me destroy you.

Mario: Destroy me (starts gesturing with hands)?  What about him?

Luigi: Mario!  But I'm your brother!

Mario: Hey, if I'm dead, I can't eat.  I can't eat, I don't get pizza.  I 
don't get pizza, that's a fate worse dan death!

Luigi: Oh, yeah.  Hey, Barth!

Vader: That's 'Darth.'

Luigi: Whaddever.  Lissen.  Dis is New York.  In dis town, nobody gets 
somethin' for nothin'.  Not even you, Garth.

Vader: That's 'Darth.'  If you get my name wrong again, I will kill you.

Mario: I think that dis guy is serious!

Luigi: Listen, Marth--

Vader: That's it!  My name is DARTH VADER (begins breathing deeply).  
Now, young plumbers, you will die!

Mario: Is it getting stuffy in here?  Hey, Yoshi!  Get in here!

Yoshi runs in, knocks over Vader with neato video game sound effect.  
Sounds like "Boomp"

Luigi: (Fighting off Yoshi as Yoshi trys to lick him to death, ala Dino 
from the Flintstones) Yoshi!  Are you hungry?  Yeah?  Well, dat guy has 
food.  

Mario: No, wait!  Dat guy IS food!

Yoshi sweeps Vader into his mouth in one fell swoop.

Vader: Dinosaur drool, how humiliating...

Begin Super Mario Brothers theme (Doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo.  Doo doo 
doo doo doo doo doo dodo)

Vader: What is that music?  Oh, that's almost as bad as the Barney theme!

Mario: I think that'll do it.

Vader: Fine!  I'll just torture the Princess to get the information that 
I need!

Mario and Luigi: THE PRINCESS! (Special Power-up sound effect)  Let's go!

Mario and Luigi enter the Star Destroyer and run into a squad of 
Stormtroopers.

Mario: Look!

Luigi: What strange looking toadstools.  Stomp 'em!

Head stormtrooper: Hey, are we allowed to hit these guys, or are they 
secondary characters.  

Stormtrooper #2: You know, in a few minutes, that Obi-Wan guy is going to 
say "Only Imperial Stormtrooper are so precise."  I'd like to at least be 
precise once before I die.  (Gets stomped on and dies with cute sound effect)

Head Stormtrooper: Sh*t!  These guys are the good guys!  Troops, prepare 
to shoot the walls and ceiling before you die.  And look evil and mean at 
the same time!  (Gets shot by own troops, dies)

Mario and Luigi: Great job, brother.

Mario: Yoshi!  See if you can smell the Princess.

Yoshi: Makes cute little puppy sounds.

Luigi: All right, let's go!

Mario, Yoshi, and Luigi run around the corner, only to find Princess Leia.

Mario: You're the Princess?

Luigi: But she doesn't look like a video game character!  She looks 
almost human!

Vader: (Panting heavily, dripping dinosaur slobber all over the place): I 
have you now! (Wheeze)

Mario: You can have the Princess.  

Luigi: We don't want her anymore.  

Yoshi bumps into a computer terminal and numbers start pouring onto the 
screen.

Mario: Yipee!  A new high score!

Luigi, Mario, and Yoshi leave Vader alone with Leia.  Vader closely 
inspects the numbers.

Vader: Classic Imperial encryption.  These are the plans!  

Artoo Deetoo enters.

Leia: Artoo, why couldn't you get here on time!

Artoo Deetoo: I'm sick of just beeping all the time.  And the new 
novelists have me warbling.  I took a few moments to install a voice 
box.  And I'm here now.  What do you want?

Vader: Time to die, Princess!

Artoo Deetoo: Uh, later.  (Exits VERY quickly)

Leia:  You can't kill me.  What if I turn out to be your daughter, and I 
havea twin brother who will learn the ways of the Force and bring you 
back to the Light Side of the Force?

Vader: What are the odds of that?  Besides, after meeting those two, I 
never want to see any more siblings ever again.

Eric Bycer