From: Rabid Hoojib Subject: Re: [Off Topic] Attn: Morwen |||Tolkien Fantasy Art||| Date: 4/05/2000 James wrote: > Go away or I will taunt you a second ti--ime "Hey! Where'd you get those Gundark-nuts?" "..what?!?" "Your pretending to ride in a landspeeder, rolling on those two Gundark-nuts! ..now.. where'd you get the Gundark-nuts??" "?!? (tch) ..I *found* them..." " !! ..what?!? You don't just FIND Gundark-nuts! This is an arid, yet temperant zone.. Gundark-nuts are Extra-Terrestrial! They can't be found here! ..now, how'd you get Gundark-nuts???" "(grrr) ..a Mynock will migrate out, in winter..." "..Are - you - trying - to tell me that those two Gundark-nuts, MI-GRA-TED here?!?" "..not at all, they could have been carried in, by the Mynocks.." "..it's just not physically possible! You're trying to make me believe, that itty-bitty Mynocks could just carry those huge Gundark-nuts, across Interstellar distances?!? ..it can't be done, `ya daffy bastard!" "It's not important.. ..now go tell your Jedi master, that Skywalker - from Tatooine, is here an.." "..look.. a 2 kilo Mynock CAN-NOT lift a pair of 12 kilo Gundark nuts, it denies the laws of physics! ..it's just not blooming possible!" "Perhaps two Mynocks carried them side-by-side, using a sling.." "..what?!? do ya think that they just *picked-up* a bit of Gundark foreskin, then used it to rig a sling, ..just so they could halfway across the Galaxy, carrying a pair of Gundark-nuts?!? ..what possible reason would explain that?!?" "It's not important now! ..go tell your Jedi master that.." "..perhaps, if they were Gammorean Mynocks, it might be.." "Oh, yea... GAMORREAN Mynocks could conceivably pull off that stunt, but not AFFYTECHAN Mynocks, as he'd have us ruddy-well believe.." "..come, threepio.. we'll go seek out the next Jedi master.." -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- > Intermission -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "Arrrgh, those who'd cross the Star of Death, must answer me, these questions three - ere the DeathStar trench he see. ..what.. is your name?" "..Luke Skywalker, from Tatooine.." "..what.. is your quest?" "I seek vengeance, for ..Bail.." "What is the average air-speed velocity of a Mynock?" "What do you mean? ..Affytechan, or Gamorrean Mynocks?" "I don't no thaAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!" "Luke! ..how do you know that we'll be able to pull-out, at that speed??" "You have to know these things, when you're a Jedi, y'know.. It'll be just like Beggar's Canyon, back home..." > ----- ƒíñé ----- OK, now that'll be the end to the silliness, blokes.. ..from here on, there will be no more silliness allowed, run along. ..now move along, no more silliness here to witness.. =) > 8========##<^>##========8 >>>>------> {çhêêtah} > 8========##<^>##========8 "Cut down a Jedi with a `erring? It can't be done?" -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "A creature, so fowl, so cruel, the bones of 50 men lie about it's lair!" "Where? behind the Hoojib?" "It ..IS.. the Hoojib!" ". . ! . . you silly-sod, you got us all worked up!!" "..it's the most murderous rodent you ever layed eye's upon, mate ..look at the bones, man!" "..I soiled my Jedi robe!" "..go on, Gantoris, chop the `lil bugger's `ead off.." "..right! One hoojib stew, coming up.." "..LOOK!.." [cue 1930-ish action-music sequence, hoojib bites Gantoris' `ead off..] "Jesus Sith!" "I tol' you.. hahaha ..I tol' you, but would you listen? oh-no.. hahaha ..it's just a `armless `lil hoojib..." "Shut-UP!! Alright men, CHARGE!!!" "run-away, run-away, run-away!" -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "..`ave at you!" "..I chopped your bleedin' leg off!" "..no you didn't!" "Then what's that?" [points at severed & cauterized extremity] "..`tis only a flesh-wound, have-at-you!" [whirrr, buzz, slice!] "Now stand aside, good Jedi - you've fought valiantly.." "Oh, giving up, eh?" "..you're a bloody loon.." [marching off] "..come back `ere! I'll bite you're bloody knickers off!" -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-