Subject: Episode I Observations: Home Video Version Date: 8 Apr 2000 12:15:35 GMT From: Kentaro P Maeda Organization: University of Hawaii Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc I'm nothing if not contemplative and introspective, so here's a lengthy session of observations, reflections, and MST-isms. Collect them all: George says "articulate" so much, it makes him seem inarticulate. Is that irony? On a related note, the most commonly-spoken word in TPM may very well be the universal swear word, "chuba!" I used to think editor Paul Martin Smith looked like a Hell's Angel. now it's more like David Crosby. So -that's- how George got all those adopted kids. My new favorite moment: As the duel starts, Obi-Wan leaps over behind Maul and takes a hack. Maul blocks without even looking. It's a clear shot but I never noticed this before. It's so awesome I could cry. Mad Magazine was right, John Williams' music IS too loud sometimes. When the first monster fish attacks the bongo, Qui-Gon is naturally unfazed. But then he cranes his neck around to get a better look at it and it's as if he's saying "Wow, pretty cool." When the bongo emerges onto the surface, Qui-Gon stands up and takes a look around. In a part that didn't make the final cut, he barks to his apprentice: "What the--? Get us to the shore, you idiot!" I just had to get this Lettermanism in: With all the time Darth Maul must've spent training to be a Sith Warrior, I sure hope he didn't neglect his studies. If Qui-Gon stepped in the "icky icky goo" instead of Jar Jar, he'd say "How can I quickly remove this off my shoe without betraying my cool exterior?" "At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge. At last you will let me start going out and dating girls!" I'd heard that Sam Jackson was the first to say "May the Force be with you," but Liam says it to Anakin before the pod race. First he beats him to an Oscar nomination and now this... When that creature, er, passes gas in front of Jar Jar, he turns around to see him, as if he did it on purpose. Boy, even beasts of burden don't seem to like the guy. No respect. I can't get over Kitster raising his hands to receive the phantom high-five from Wald. Once that actor's schoolmates got over the fact that he was in a Star Wars movie, you know they just grilled him about that. Ric Olie to Anakin: "Ani, have you ever seen a grown man naked?" When Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan go out to retrieve Anakin, Yoda gives a worried glance at Mace. Mace in turn wanders off into space, and he looks bushed. Jedi-ing is tiring work. Either that, or he's thinking "I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation." After, um, Conehead Jedi (I forget his name) says to Anakin, "Your thoughts dwell on your mother," I just picture everyone breaking into laughter, with derisive cries of "Mama's boy." But then they'd realize they'd never even seen their own mothers, so they start sobbing and consoling each other. I also see them laughing if Qui-Gon were asked what color lightsaber the mysterious Sith warrior had, and he replied "Pink." When Obi-Wan says to his Qui-Gon, "It's not disrespect, master..." I wonder if that line was preceded by Qui-Gon's "Why you keep dissing me, yo?" Ric Olie to Anakin II: "Ani, have you ever been to a Kessel prison?" "Red group, blue group, everybody this way." You know somewhere on Panaka's resume reads "Naboo palace tour guide." When the Queen tells Panaka that "we don't have time for this," he seems to be having a blast. Probably the first he and everyone else ever actually shot at anything, too. Anakin's ship flies into the control ship and past the two droids in the command center: "What was that, Fred?" "Beats me, Steve." There's Qui-Gon sneaking in a few Z's once again when the energy wall blocks him and Maul. Because, y'know, he was sleeping on Shmi's couch and so... never mind. The control ship blows up. "We didn't hit it... We're not that good!" The squadron later finds out it was some darn kid who did it, prompting them to think, "Boy, we DO suck." I'm sure seeing Anakin boosted morale. Alas, Darth Maul dies. At least he finished his all-too-brief career with a record of .500. Being a Sith really puts you at physical risk, so don't whine when you hear about the millions they make a year. And don't get me started on the travel... Is that a bearded Ben Burtt behind the queen when the Council lands on Naboo? I knew he was supposed to be around somewhere... Who the hell does Razzie-nominated Sophia Coppola play? I always figured the Razzies were made up of a bunch of college-aged punks or something, but apparently they're made up of "industry people." I guess they must be if they knew who she played. Sheesh. (Incidentally, she's engaged to Spike Jonze, director and "heir to the Spiegel fortunes.") Yoda looks like he's delighted at seeing Qui-Gon burn, before Mace interrupts him. And if TPM happened in real life, someone's cell phone would've went off during that scene, maybe even with a "Duel of the Fates" jingle. This is Ken, saying good night, and drive safely.