Subject: New and improved Skywalker Ranch. From: "Galactic Boobies" Date: Wed, 22 Aug 2001 18:05:44 GMT Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc *Dinnertable: family looks downtrodden as they listlessly play with their salads. Little girl pouts and lifts limp pepper ring* Girl: Mom, this salad dressing stinks. Mom (gesturing to the sky): Whay can't they make a dressing that's REALLY exciting? [Imperial Death March] *George Lucas appears in a cloud of sparkles. Family reacts in exagerated joy.* Dad: Wow! George Lucas! GL: Why not try my new and improved Skywalker Ranch salad Dressing? I think it's got the zest you're looking for. *opens cap with the sound of lightsaber igniting. Light beam shoots from the bottle as sparkling ranch dressing pours over salad.* GL: Developed in my own special effects department, my tasty ranch dressing has 23 secret herbs and spices to give it the bold flavor you want on your salad. *mom dips her finger in and tastes* MOM: Mmmm! It's too good to be real! GL: That's because it isn't. I've created the perfect salad dressing by making one that doesn't exist. As a bonus, each bottle comes with a free personal green screen. *puts screen behind father who becomes Fabio* Mom: Sure beats a 50 cent coupon! Dad (forking out a green speck from the dressing): Is this ..money? GL: Yep, that's part of what makes Skywalker Ranch so good, loads of lights and smoke and discarded money. You won't care if the hidden valley stays hidden for good. Come on over to MY Ranch. MOM: Thanks George! GL: You know how you can thank me (rubs fingers together and smiles) [Star Wars theme] *Disappears in another cloud of sparkles* GL: May the salad be with you, always.... Jade --