Subject: Re: [FUN] Classic Moments Revisited Date: Thu, 10 Aug 2000 10:16:15 -0700 From: Jedah Organization: http://www.remarq.com: The World's Usenet/Discussions Start Here Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc More Frivolity (boy I'm bored at work) *Scene - Padme and Anakin on the ship "I carved this for you from a Japor snippet. It'll bring you good fortune." "That's sweet...but I don't need this junk. See, I'm really the queen and have more money than I know what to do with." "What?" "Yep, I'm stinking rich. I could have bought your mom out of slavery, but hey, one filthy little wretch running around here is enough." *Tosses necklace into trash bin* "But...I...you're so mean!" "Grow up you little snot. You'll never be one of my consorts if you keep this up." "A consort? What's that?" "Didn't your mom tell you about the gungans and the bees?" "Well...no...I don't think she knew...she kinda had me without a daddy around." "Oh geez. Ask Qui-Gon where babies come from. That ought to be good for a laugh. When you get older, you can be part of my stud farm!" "Huh?" "Kind of like pod racing...'cept I'm the pod." "I don't understand...and I'm very cold." "You'll get it someday, kiddo. As for being cold, do some push ups to warm up...it'll make your pecs all nice and tight when you grow up, too." "I don't like you as much any more, Padme." "That's o.k., Anni, I own you anyway. Trust me, you'll learn to love my whip in time. Until then, work on being quiet and looking studly." *Scene - Luke and Threepio are talking while Luke cleans Artoo "Looks like you boys have seen some action." "Yeah, your dad built me to last, though." "You knew my father?" "He used to fondle my naked parts, sir Luke." "What?" "He built me before he turned into the Vader bastard." "Darth Vader's my father?" "Oh yes, sir. He used to be pretty rightous, but now he's mostly just a shit." "So...when did he build you?" "When he was about 9. Smart kid...but he had a thing for me parading around without my skin on. I felt like I was in Hollowman." "Must have sucked...what planet was he from?" "This one. He lived in Mos Espa with his mom...he was a slave and so was she. She used to have Johns in the house every night!" "What?" "Your grandma was a hooker, Master Luke. Her pimp, Watto, sold junk as a cover for his real business." "Wow...well, there's something wedged in here..." "Oh, that's probably some of your mom's jewels we stole." "You knew my mom too?" "Yeah...a real demon in the sack. *growl*" "What!?!" "Sorry. Yeah, I knew her. Nice lady...great yobbos. She liked artoo better though...used to sit on his head and he'd extend his sensor and...um...but you don't want to know that do you?" "Not really, but it explains the carbon scoring." Jedah "De wanna wonga?" "No, but I wouldn't mind a back rub" ----------------------------------------------------------- Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com