Subject: Re: [FUN] Classic Moments Revisited Date: Thu, 10 Aug 2000 12:28:37 -0700 From: Jedah Organization: http://www.remarq.com: The World's Usenet/Discussions Start Here Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc More fun! Call me butter, 'cause I'm on a roll! *Scene - Luke meets Yoda "I'm looking for a great warrior." "Wars not make one great!" "He's a powerful Jedi master." "Oh...Yoda, you seek Yoda!" "What do you know about it, handlebar ears?" "Take you to Yoda, I can." "And flying stormtroopers will fly out of my butt!" "Amazing that would be." "Not half as amazing as believing a little choad like you knows where Yoda is." "Yoda you seek, Yoda have you found!" "You're Yoda? No way. Yoda's like ten feet tall, not some little hamster dude." "Judge me by my size?" "No, but I bet the ladies do. That's why you live out here in a swamp, right?" "Resort there is, on other side of swamp, hmmm? Margaritas they serve...topless waitresses." "Maybe you ARE a Jedi master...very well, master, lead the way." *Scene - The rebels are trying to break into the shield generator "General Solo!" "Quiet, goldenrod." "I'm sorry, but our furry companion has gone off an done something rather rash..." "What?" *Turns to see ewok in drag batting eyelashes at scout troopers "Holy! That little fuzznut is gonna get us all killed!" "Yub nub, soldier boy. Me yub nub you long time, longer for five yubs!" *Scout trooper looks at little ewok prostitute* "What the hell is this? Talking Bubba?" "Hey, baby, wanna yub nub all night? 20 yubs." *Trooper two turns to trooper one* "I think it's a trick. I saw something like this on Empire's Most Wanted. The little bastard's trying to entrap you." "Yeah, but for a quick bit of fur..." "Think with something other than your dick for once!" "I'm a woman!" "Then why...you're a lesbian?" "Yeah...so?" "I didn't know they let women be troopers." "Well they do...but anyway, that's a male ewok." "How can you tell?" "Gaydar." "Oh...well let's go follow him out into the woods and leave the door unprotected." "Sure...hey...you won't tell anyone?" "That you're gay? No...but can I watch on your next date?" "Sicko." *Back up on the hill, watching as the troopers leave* "Well what do you know, the little furball did it.* *Scene - Luke's just turned himself over to Vader "You don't know the power of the dark side...I must obey my master!" "Actually, I do know the power of the dark side...Lando showed me." "Lando? Calrissian? He's a sexy mo'fo'." "I didn't think that was the dark side you meant, though." "Why do you think I wear black leather?" "Kinky. Was mom like this?" "Worse...she used to wear these regal outfits and go totally naked underneath. She also had this guy, Panaka, who taught her about the dark side. Afterwards I had to wear this suit just to get her aroused." "Glad it worked!" "Well, yeah." "So do I have to see the Emperor now?" "He's got a lot of Barry White albums..." "Well...o.k., let's go." Jedah "Amusing myself is a hobby...and I haven't gone blind yet =)" ----------------------------------------------------------- Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com