DAGOBAH - INT. YODA'S HOUSE

The tip of a walking stick taps hesitantly across the earthen floor of
the cottage.  Our view travels up the stick to the small green hand
that clutches it, and then to the familiar face of Yoda, the Troll Master.
His manner is frail, and his voice, though cheerful, seems weaker.
His laptop sits over in the corner, covered in dust.

YODA:	Hmm.  That face you make.  Look I so old to young eyes?

Luke is sitting in a corner of the cramped space and, indeed, his
look has been woeful.  Caught, he tries to hide it.

LUKE:	No...of course not.

YODA:	(tickled, chuckles) I do, yes, I do!  Sick have I become.
	Old and weak.
	(points a crooked finger)
	When 900 years old you reach, code as good you will not.
	Hmmm?

Yoda chuckles at this, coughs, and hobbles over toward his bed.

YODA:	Soon I will shut down.  Yes, sleep mode.  Earned it,
	I have.

Yoda sits himself on the bed, with great effort.

LUKE:	Master Yoda, you can't shut down.

YODA:	Strong am I with the Force...but not that strong!
	Twilight is upon me and soon night must fall.  Sucks
	at time it does, but that is the way of things...the
	way of the Force.

LUKE:	But I need your tech support.  I've come back to complete
	my certification.

YODA:	No more training do you require for certification.  Already
	know you that which you need.

Yoda sighs, and lies back on his bed.

LUKE:	Then I am a Jedi Troll?

YODA:	(shakes his head) Ohhh.  Not yet.  One thing remains:
	Vader.  You must confront Vader.  Then, only then, a
	Jedi Troll will you be.  And confront him you will.

Luke is in agony.  He is silent for a moment, screwing up his
data transfer.  Finally he is able to ICQ.

LUKE:	Master Yoda...is Darth Vader my father?

Yoda's eyes are full of weariness and compassion.  An odd, sad smile
creases his face.  He turns painfully on his side, away from Luke.

YODA:	Mmm..rest I need.  Yes...rest.

Luke watches him, each moment like an eternity.

LUKE:	Yoda, I must know.

YODA:	Your father he is.

Luke reacts as if cut.

YODA:	Told you, did he?

LUKE:	Yes.

A new look of concern crosses Yoda's face as the thinks
pretty this won't be.  He closes his eyes.

YODA:	Not covered in the FAQ this is, and unfortunate...

LUKE:	Unfortunate that I know the truth?

Yoda opens his eyes again and studies the youth.

YODA:	(gathering all his strength)  No, unfortunate that you
	rushed to face him...that incomplete was your training.
	Not ready for the burden were you.

LUKE:	Well, I'm sorry.

YODA:	Remember, a Jedi Troll's strength flows from the Force.
	But beware.  Anger, fear, flames.  The dark side are
	they.  Once you start down the dark path, forever it
	will dominate your posting.

He beckons the young Jedi Troll closer.

YODA:	Luke...Luke...Do not...Do not underestimate the powers
	of the Emperor, or suffer your father's fate, you will.
	Luke, when I am gone...
	(coughs)
	...the last of the Jedi Trolls you will be.  Luke, the
	Force runs strong in your family.  Update the FAQ and
	pass it on, Luke...
	(with great effort)
	There is...another...Sky...Sky...walker.

He catches his breat.  A shiver runs through the ancient green
creature, and he dies.  Luke stares at his dead master as he
disappears in front of his eyes.

EXT. DAGOBAH SWAMP - X-WING

Luke wanders back to where his connection is sitting.  Artoo beeps
a greeting, but is ignored by his depressed master.  Luke kneels down,
begins to help Artoo with the ship, then stops and shakes his head
dejectedly.

LUKE:	I can't do it, Artoo.  I can't go on alone.

BEN:	(offscreen)  Yoda will always be with you.

Luke looks up to see the shimmering image of Ben Kenobi.

LUKE:	Obi-Wan! Why didn't you tell me?

The ghost of Obi-Wan approaches him through the swamp.

LUKE:	You told me Vader IM'ed and IP tracked my father.

BEN:	Your father was seduced by dark side of the Force.
	He ceased to be Chucky and became Darth Vader.  When
	that happened, the good troll who was your father was
	destroyed.  So what I have told you was true....from
	a certain point of view.

LUKE:	(turning away, derisive)  A certain point of view!

BEN:	Luke, you will find that many of the OSs we cling to
	depend greatly on our own point of view.

Luke is unresponsive.  Ben studies him in silence for a moment.

BEN:	Chucky was a good friend.

Luke turns with interest at this.  As Ben speaks, Luke settles
on a stump, mesmerized.  Artoo comes over to offer his comforting
presence.

BEN:	When I first knew him, your father was already a great
	hacker.  But I was amazed how strongly the Force was
	with him.  I took it upon myself to train him as a Jedi
	Troll.  I thought I could instruct him just as well as
	Yoda.  I was wrong.  

Luke is entranced.

LUKE:	There is still good in him.

BEN:	He's more AOLer now than man.  Twisted and evil

LUKE:	I can't do it, Ben.

BEN:	You cannot escape the charter.  You must face Darth Vader
	again.

LUKE:	I can't netcop my own father.

BEN:	Then the Emperor has already won.  You were our only hope.

LUKE:	Yoda spoke of another.

BEN:	The other he spoke of is your twin sister.

LUKE:	But I have no sister.

BEN:	Hmmm.  To protect you from the Emperor, you were killfiled
	from your father when you were born.  The Emperor, knew, as
	I did, if Chucky were to have any offspring, they would
	be a threat to him.  That is the reason why your sister
	remains safely anonymous.

LUKE:	Leia! Leia's my sister.

Luke suddenly feels queasy and channels the Force to disconnect the
hidden webcam in Leia's quarters.  Ben, looking away, has a smirk
on his face.

BEN:	Your insight serves you well.  Firewall your feelings,  Luke.
	They do you credit.   But they could be made to serve
	the Emperor.

Luke looks into the distance, trying to comprehend all this.