But enough off-topic chit-chat, it is time to once again direct our gaze... into the future.

(RASSM THRONG: "The future, Farmboy?")

That's right, friends for life. Let us all look to the future. All the way... to RASSM in the year 2010....


In the year 2010...


...  Sith War XXII will have become so lame... that all participants decide to chip in to hire former staff-writers of "Family Matters", "Growing Pains" and "Full House" to spruce things up.

... The Spice Girls will announce that they are "very interested" in making a cameo appearance in the next Star Wars sequel which will then be in production. This announcement will get a chuckle out of the manager of the local K-Mart, where they all work.

.... the movie Titanic will *still* be No.1 at the Box Office.... 
                                               		 ...ON THE PLANET SUCKO!!! 

.... in celebration of yet another re-release of the original Star Wars trilogy, Mark Hamill will once again re-emerge from obscurity to go on the late night talkshow circuit. Unfortunatly, he will have been dead for two years, so his bones will be dug up for the occasion. 

... initial excitement about Rich Handley being offered the job of writing the screenplay to the final episode in the Star Wars nonology... will soon turn to horror when Ain't It Cool News reports that the working title Handley's come up with is "Episode IX: Star Trek Rulez".

... in re-release, The Empire Strikes Back will finally pass E.T. in terms of all-time Box Office success, prompting Lucas to place a good-natured ad in Variety which will show the cyborg Lobot royally kicking the Extra Terrestrial's sorry old Spielbergian ass.

... A group of Trekkies will announce that they are now capable of quoting every line ever uttered in a Star Trek TV Show or film, that they can build working Transporters and Food Dispensers, and that they're able to now use the cryo-stored brain of Roddenberry to render new episodes of the original series. Which means the only thing Trekkies still won't be able to do... is lose their virginity.

... the Star Wars novels will have grown so unpopular, that an offer to write one of them is turned down by a cautious "Satiricus Rex".

... the RASSM Reorg debate will be settled once and for all when a CFV for rec.arts.sf.starwars.nazis, proposed by CCS and The Kid with the admitted sole purpose of spiting Filmjerk... passes with flying colors.

... George Lucas himself will finally show up on the #rassm IRC chat channel. No-one will recognize him, however, because he will pretend to be a voluptuous blond coed named Amber.

... Johnny Bravo will finally get married. It'll be a very small, private ceremony, since the only people present will be Bravo, his new wife, the minister... and the people who haven't kill-filed him.

.... RASSM will spend several weeks in shock when a movie that Aaron Snyder announces is in his personal Top Ten list turns out to be.... rather good.

... in an unexpected turn of events, James W. King will successfully sue all of RASSM for defamation. To be able to pay the compensation that the courts award King, the RASSM Throng will have no choice but to force their beloved mascot Barq to... "sell it on the street".

... Keanu Reeves *almost* gets cast in the new Star Wars sequels, when an aging and confused George Lucas forgets for a tense few seconds that there *are* other people.

... the 'Official RASSM Inbreed' Drake will announce that he's relinquishing that title in favor of a new one: 'Satanic Penis Worshipper'. When asked why he's making the change, Drake will reply: "I suddenly realized the term 'Official RASSM Inbreed' could be considered offensive."

.... the footage of the Stormtrooper hitting his head in ANH will be found at last. It turns out Jimmy Hoffa had it on him the whole time, during his vacation to the Bermuda triangle with his best friend Elvis.

... James Trory will once again leave in a huff, after the 24-bit color, high-resolution scanned picture of Cloud City he uses in his signature... is mistaken by someone for a cake on a stick.

And finally, in the year 2010...

... Nathan Masters will be doubly vindicated when it is at long last revealed that A.C. Crispin is, in fact, a gay man named Chucky Waldman.