Subject: Lord Sidious: I would've gotten away with it too...
Date: 08 Apr 2000 05:22:20 GMT
From: dtyner5446@aol.com (DTyner5446)
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc

Lord Darth Sidious held a press conference today to discuss his failed invasion
of Naboo. "I had the perfect plan," he insisted, "and I would have gotten away
with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids and their Gungan."

The "meddling kids" to whom he refers are 25 year old Obi-Wan Kenobi, 14 year
old Queen Amidala, 9 year old Anakin Skywalker and their pet Gungan Jar Jar
Binks. After their success at Naboo, the quartet have been traveling around the
universe in a psychedelically painted Nubian looking for new mysteries to
solve.  While headed to one such location, they explained how they foiled Lord
Sidious' invasion.

"Jinkies, we had to fight those creepy droids to get into the Throne Room in
order to capture the villains," explained Amidala. "I quickly realized that we
weren't in any real danger from the droids because they were just projected
images that were being bounced off of a nearby mirror.  Then we burst into the
Throne Room and pulled the masks off those no good bad guys, and it was Darth
Maul and Darth Sidious!!"

"That's right," interrupts Kenobi, "The Darth Maul that Qui-Gon and I fought
was just a decoy.  It was an elaborate marionette controlled by ropes and
pulleys."

This reporter was completely confused at this point. I mean, their explanations
seemed completely inconsistent with what appeared to have happened.
Nevertheless, I listened to Anakin explain his part in the battle.

"Like, I got into a spaceship and it took off with me still inside it!  I shot
those gooney droid ships and accidently blew up their cargo ship.  Luckily,
that turned off the projectors that created the droid images. Like, I don't
care if I never see the inside of another Federation spaceship for the rest of
my life," exclaimed Anakin. "Yeah, yeah!" agreed Jar Jar.

"Of course, like usual, Jar Jar got into all kinds of crazy capers," added
Amidala, "but he managed to help us in the end."

"Hee hee hee!" laughed the Gungan. "Jarjy Jarjy Binks!!"

Their next destination is Coruscant, where they plan to investigate a haunted
mansion deep in the bowels of the city. Kenobi says they plan to enlist the
help of funnyman Don Knotts.