Subject: [Humour] SW:TPM Spankings Date: Thu, 14 Oct 1999 11:16:21 -0400 From: "Rick O'Shea" Organization: Posted via Supernews, http://www.supernews.com Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc You've heard of Star Wars PANTS? Now try Star Wars SPANKINGS: "As you know, our spankings are perfectly legal..." "These Federation types are cowards. The spankings will be short." "I sense an unusual amount of fear for something as trivial as a spanking." "We must accelerate our plans, Viceroy. Begin spanking your troops." "The Chancellor should never have brought them into this. Spank them, immediately." "Offhand, I'd say this mission is past the spanking stage." "I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to spankings." "The ability to spank does not make you intelligent." "Don't worry, this has not been our day for warm spankings." "Queen Amidala is young and naive. You will find spanking her will not be difficult." "In time, the spankings will persuade you to see our point of view." "Your spankings seem to have failed, ambassador." "The spankings never took place." "If they can't get those shield generators fixed, we'll be spanking ducks." "You must trust my spankings, your highness." "No more spankings from her highness today." "Mind tricks don'ta work on me- only spankings." "No money, no spankings, no deal!" "We must bow to their spankings, your highness." "You have been well spanked, my young apprentice." "He's a protocol droid, to spank Mom." "They have spankings on Malastare. Very fast, very dangerous." "I don't think so. No one can spank a Jedi Knight." "I had a dream I was a Jedi. I came back here and spanked all the slaves." "Have you come to spank us?" "The prize money would more than pay for the spankings they need." "Is there anyone friendly to the republic who might be able to spank us?" "I may not like it, but he can spank you. He was meant to spank you." "His spankings count is off the chart." "At last we shall reveal ourselves to the spankings..." "You should be proud of your son. He spanks without any thought of reward." "You have brought spankings to those who have none." "I tried to spank your mother, Annie, but Watto wouldn't have it." "I'll make sure Mom doesn't spank you or anything." "Will i ever spank you again?" "I will become a Jedi and I will come back and spank you, Mom. I promise." "Many things will change when we reach the capital, Annie. My spankings for you will always remain." "To be realistic, Your Highness, I'd say we're going to have to accept federation spankings for the time being." "Queen Amidala of the Naboo, will you defer your motion to allow a commission to explore the validity of your spankings?" "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate... leads to spankings." "The Force is strong with him." "He's to be spanked, then." "No. He will not be spanked." "Your highness, it is our pleasure to continue to spank and protect you." "I am sending Darth Maul to spank you." "The moment we land, the Federation will spank you, and force you to sign the treaty." "The Gungans will not be easily spanked." "Once we get to the main entrance, Captain Panaka will create a diversion, so that we can enter the palace and spank the Viceroy." "The two Jedi may be spanking the Queen for their own purposes." "The Jedi cannot become involved. They can only spank the queen." "Proceed. Spank them. All of them." "Obi-Wan, promise... promise me you'll spank the boy." "Master Yoda, i gave Qui-Gon my word. I will spank Anakin." "But which one was spanked- the master or the apprentice?" ----------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Platt Okeefe" Date: 14 Oct 1999 Rick O'Shea scribeth in stone: > You've heard of Star Wars PANTS? Now try Star Wars SPANKINGS: Thank you Rick, those are great! Would you like more to add? "I can only spank you. I can't fight a war for you." "They will spank you if you stay." "Remember, concentrate on the moment. Spank, don't think. Use your instincts." "Monsters out there, spankin's in here, when are yousa thinkin weesa in trouble?" "Our spanking was not a coincidence." "He can see spankings before they happen." "A communications disruption can mean only one thing - spanking!" "You refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring spankings to the Force - you believe its this boy?" "No pod is worth two spankings!"