From: Amy 'Amara' Pronovost
Date: 20 Sep 1996


Here it is, I may have ditied it a touch from the original *gotten rid of 
spelling errors and awful grammar* but there are also a few new ones I 
thought of after I posted it, about 3 anyway. :)  Enjoy.

How to use starwars to spice up your everyday life.

1) Picture this.. a romantic evening, sitting on a blanket with your 
favourite person (or wookiee) , looking up at the sky..
They say 'look at the moon!' you say: "that's not a moon.. that's a space 
station!'

2) Driving along, when someone says 'Are we there yet?!' say, "almost 
there..."

3) During an intimate moment, "is it in yet?" they reply, in 
exasperation, "negative.. didn't go in, just impacted on the surface", 
reply with.. "noo.. no.. that's not true! That's impossible!!"

4) During another intimate moment.. "Aren't you a little short for a 
stormtrooper."

5) During a bank robbery, if the robber points their gun/knife whatever 
at you.... cower back and say in a silly voice, "Away with your weapon, I 
mean you no harm!"

6) You're in a bar, watching a woman chat up a guy, who's obviously 
unimpressed.. walk up to the woman and say, motioning to the guy.. "he 
doesn't like you... I don't like you either!"

7) Claim that your car can do the kessel run in under 12 parsecs.

8) Adamantly insist that the black casing on your TV and VCR is actually 
carbonite.

9) Always say 'I know' when someone tells you they love you.

10) In yet another intimate moment (Guess where my mind is right now) 
look at your man surprised and say 'Look at the size of that thing!'

11) Always claim 'there is another'.

12) If someone asks you to repay a debt, look up at the ceiling and say, 
"I don't have the money _with_ me"

13) Claim your running shoes are actually Calamari Cruisers.

14) When you eat onion rings, hold each one up and say 'Look Sir Droids!"

15) If you get pulled over by the  police, wave your hand and look 
sagely, say in a confident voice.. "You don't need to see my 
identification.... These are not the droids you are looking for"

16) Always claim that you can shoot womp rats in your T-16 back home.

17) If someone tries to chat you up say 'I'd rather kiss a wookiee"

18) If a friend, who's a terrible driver, offers to pick someone up for 
you say, "He's no good to me dead!"

19) If the phone rings in an intimate moment say, "I hate to ask, but 
does that include turning me off?"

20) A female colleague is chatting about a wonderful man, say "He doesn't 
want you, he's after some guy called skywalker"

21) if someone asks 'Where are we?" reply, 'Well, if there's a bright 
spot to the galaxy, you're on the point furthest from."

22) "What's a nice girl like you doing in a wretched hive of scum and 
villainy like this?"

23) Make wookiee noises at any appropriate moment.

24) If you can't reach the remote control, use the force.

25) In the middle of a statistics course, say "Don't tell me the odds!"

26) When male friends are going out say, "Luke! Luke! Don't It's a trap!" 

27) If someone has a piece of junk car.. "We'll never get this bucket of 
bolts past the blocade!"

28) "You came in that? You're braver than I thought"  Ahem. :)

29) The police pull you over for speeding, if they ask you why say, "I 
have to hurry! I'm trying to save Han from the bounty hunter!"

30) Claim everything is 'Most Impressive"

31) Call your dog anger and release him often.

32) When you break up with your boyfriend say "And I thought that hairy 
beast would be the end of me!"

33) Pursuading friends to go out with you for the night, 'Join us or 
die!", If someone says this to you say "I'll never join you!"

34) Someone's trying to break up with you, "You cannot escape, don't make 
me destroy you".

35) When you're proposing to someone say, 'Join me and we can rule the 
galaxy together as husband and wife!"

36) Just after an intimate moment, "Great work, but don't get cocky, kid!"

37) Claim that nothing is your fault!

38) Have a bad feeling about everything.

39) You try to run windows 95 with minimal memory chewing, "That's 
Impossible.. even for a computer!"

40) In an exam look up at the ceiling and say, "help me OBwan Kenobi, 
you're my only hope!"

41) Place a rubber ducky in your fishtank, yeah I know this has nothing 
to do with Star Wars, but my flatmate does it. :)

42) You get a phone call answer it with Han's spiel from the prison 
detention block. 

To be continued.. :)

43) In church.. 'The Emporer is not as forgiving as I am."

44) Name your dog Rancor.  Have a 'Beware of rancor' sign on your gate.

45) Greet people with "Ne wanga wanga' or "Goota toota Solo?"

45) When you get stopped by the police, say "you  will let me go"  when 
they say "why?" reply, "Because I'm holding a thermal detonator!"

46) Paint yourself gold so that small furry animals think you're a god.
 




"We count 30 rebel ships, Lord Vader, but our men are so pissed they
couldn't hit a bull's butt with a bass fiddle."
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Amy 'Amara' Pronovost: Anthro/Star Wars artist, Star Wars Cool Girl,
Official rassm Cool person, Psychovixen.
apron@cleo.murdoch.edu.au   <*> http://rat.org/amara <*>