Slave Girl Leia Action Figure from Kenner!

This was posted in retaliation for a pornographic story posted to RASSM a few days previously about "Slave Girl Leia". At this time, RASSM could have been described as being out of control, and Scott started many such humourous threads during this time. This one was about fictitious reports that Kenner (producers of the Power of the Force 2 line of action figures) had put into production a Slave Girl Leia figure, designed to reach the areas other figures couldn't....

Slave Girl Leia Action Figure from Kenner!

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How to Use Star Wars to Spice Up Your Every Day Life

Yet another list of useful ways of encorporating Star Wars into every day life. This one was written by Amara after she had visited McDonald's with some friends.

How to Use Star Wars to Spice up your Every Day life

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Vader VS. The Mario Brothers

Keeping within the traditions of Someone vs. Someone else, a thread began about who would win in a fight between cartoon superhero The Tick and the Dark Lord of the Sith Darth Vader. Of course people introduced new people for Vader to fight, and Amy Pronovost suggested Vader vs. The Mario Brothers. So Eric Bycer proceeded to write...

Vader vs. the Mario Brothers

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Flame Forms

These two Flame Forms were probably designed as a joke but certainly the first one was used widely during the period it was posted. These are the "official" ways of flaming someone and are sometimes funnier than all-out abuse.

Unknown / RASSM Flame Form 1.1

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Power of the Force Collection 3

Around this time RASSM was suffering from a lack of... posts. So Ted used his initiative and came up with this thread, where RASSMers had to write a description of the sort of Power of the Force figures they would be. The results were very amusing.

Power of the Force collection 3

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Official RASSM Cool People At the beginning of May 1997 huge debate sprung about the Official RASSM Cool Person status and whether or not it was driving off newbies. Some people defended it, some people didn't. In the end it was agreed that the title should be dispanded, and so Rich Handley (who had accidently started the whole thing) declared the status void. In response, Chris Layne wrote this very funny sketch based on some famous scenes from the Trilogy.

Official RASSM Cool People

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Official RASSM Movie

The first of the Official RASSM Movies was posted by Max Silvestri for Chris Layne, who was unable at the time to get news access. It was basically a short movie script written using all the cliches and characters based on regular RASSM posters. It was quickly followed by Rakelle's Act II and Bas-Jan's Act III. In addition, Max Silvestri and Gerthein Boersma wrote some of their own "independent" movies, following the same principles as the official ones.

Official RASSM Movie

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Are You A True RASSMer?

Quite a lot of these types of poll have been posted to RASSM over the years, and it could be said that this one sparked a little controversy when the arguements began about elitism on RASSM. This was, however, a simple bit of fun. Fill it out and see if you can become a Jedi Knight the same as your father.

Are you a True RASSMer?

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Trekky Talk

Thanks to Chucky, a lot of "star wars sux" threads started to get posted to RASSM. This thread was one of them, as you can easily tell by the header. However, amongst all the replies to this stupid post, Lyle Cameron's was probably the funniest.

Trekky Talk

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RASSM Analyze the Nut Boy

Scott Chitwood makes it onto the archive for a second time with this little sketch focusing on Chucky and a message he wrote to RASSM saying he was scared of certain people on the newsgroup. Check out Yoda's character switch! The sentences in capital letters are taken from Chucky's post.

RASSM Analyze the Nut Boy

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Death Star Retold

It's unclear as to how exactly the participants of this thread managed to get from Gonk to crappers to re-writting a scene from Star Wars IV : A New Hope, but never-the-less, it is very funny, and ironically on-topic because at the time off-topic threads ruled the newsgroup.

Death Star Retold

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RASSM ASCII Art This is an amazing piece of what is known as "ascii" art using the keyboard basically. See for yourself....

RASSM Ascii Art

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Right Said Emperor Fred

Written to the tune of a popular Right Said Fred song, Jedi Al has replaced the words with his own homage to the evil Emperor Palpatine.

Right Said Emperor Fred

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Ted3000 Top Ten lists

Ted3000 is well known for the Top Ten lists he posted to RASSM. Here are some of his funnier lists, along with additions from other RASSMers.

Ted3000 Top Ten lists
Ted3000 Top Ten list contributions by James Trory
Top Ten Worst Jobs in the Star Wars Galaxy (plus contributions)
Top Ten Ways to get Kicked out of the Empire (plus contributions)

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SHI@T

Joe Patcho posted a message headed "shi@t" which simply read "f". As usual, the group pounced on this, and the thread gained roughly 20 replies. Amongst them were two very funny digs at shameless Joe by James and Oblio-1.

Shi@t

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Star Wars Special Edition Special Edition

One of the more amusing looks at how the trilogy could have turned out if the battery commander on the Devastator had ordered his troops to fire upon R2-D2 and C-3PO's escape pod in the first movie.

Star Wars Special Edition Special Edition

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Star Wars Meets The Village People

Originally written by Steve Cavanaugh, this is a hilarious take on YMCA by The Village People sung Yoda style!!

Star Wars Meets The Village People

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Make Fat Ca$h Selling Spice!!!

A one-off post by Ted parodying a lot of the spam posted to RASSM at the time. Written from the perspective of Lando Calrissian.

Make Fat Ca$h selling SPICE!!!


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