Subject: Top 10 Possible Explainations for The Force
Date: 11 Oct 1999 21:35:48 GMT
From: ted3000@aol.com (Ted Ehlers)
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc

It's 2005. Lucas releases all six Star Wars films for a final theatrical
run. And good news! All the bloopers are fixed in Episodes IV - VI!
But the tinkering didn't dend there. All the explaing of "the Force"
in the recentlyy completed prequel trillogy has to match A New Hope,
Empire & Jedi. So here are what Lucas has come up with for new
line in the Classic Trillogy Final Extra Special Edition.

10. "The force? The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. A Jedi must eat Force
Cookies to constantly replenish his supply."

9. "Judge me by my size, do you? Well you should not. For my ally is
the Force. The Force is a team of muscle-for-hire goons who beat the
crap out of tall people for me."

8. "Learn about the Force, Luke. Check it out at
www.holonet.com/force.html"

7. "Don't underestimate the Force. It pisses microscopic elves off
that live insude your cells. If they hear you underestimating the Force,
they screw up your RNA and give severe bowel trauma."

6. "Use the force. Let it flow though you. Then, when your drunk
enough on the Force, ring up Mon Mothma for a booty call."

5. "You eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them. Always double-
check shit out beforehand with the Force. You better take it's
advice too, wit a quickness, cause the Force ain't no whack-ass punk."

4. "The Jedi are all but extinct. You, and perhaps John Travolta are
all that's left of their kooky sci-fi space-religion. Oh, wait, isn't
that Christian Scientology or Reiki or somthing?

3. "El Forco y mucho grande." (Maxi Big, da force?)

2. "The Force helped me turn $10 into $1,000 overnight! Not a scam!"

1. Midi-Chlorians (sp?)

"Cue Hallucinotronic Spypunk Soundtrack for the Summer of Evol."