Archive I

jwassell@mindspring.com

Shaven wookie, you're the one!
You make shaving lots of fun!
Shaven wookie I'm awfully fond of you.
Shaven wookie, joy of joys!
When I shave you, you make noise!
Shaven wookie you're very best friend it's true!
Every day when I, make my way to the shower,
I find a, big tall wookie, who's smooth and lathers for hours.
Shaven wookie, you're so slick,
And if you ever give me back my bic,
Shaven wookie I'll be shaven some day with you!
--Ernie from Seasame Street singing to his Shaven Wookie in the shower.
S is for Shaven, that's good enough for me...
--Cookie monster
And as God as my witness, I shall never shave a wookie again!
--Scarlett O'Hara
"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the wookie shaves tonight..."
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You shaved my wookie. Prepare to die."
--From the lost pages of The Princess Bride
"I wish the goblin king would come and shave my wookie. Right now!"
--From the lost pages of Labyrinth

bznichols@hotmail.com

(Sung to the tune of 'Shout')
Well,
You know you make me want to
SHAVE!
Shave a wookie
SHAVE!
Shave a wookie
SHAVE!
Shave a wookie
Come on now,
Don't forget the aftershave, too
SHAVE!
I'll gladly shave your wookie for a hamburger today.
--Wimpey
Eich bien shaven wookie!
--John F. Kennedy
The only thing we have to fear is razor burn itself!
--Roosevelt
I want my shaven wookie
--MTV slogan

aftonadm@mail.edumaster.net

A Shaven Wookie....that's a shame.

Aromon@aol.com

A shaven wookie, WHATEVER!!!
A shaven wookie is an ugly wookie.

zuckuss@theriver.com

Sorry Luke, my mom says I can't play until I shave the wookie!

scheppke@open.org

Envision a shaven wookie singing "Send in the Clowns".
Envision a shaven wookie playing the kazoo.

EErinD@aol.com

Life is like a Shaven Wookie. You never know what it looks like until you shave it.
No Fur (No Fear)
We'll shave two Wookies with one razor.
Is a Shaven Wookie spelled like a Shaven Wookie or a Shaven Wookiee?
It's your Wookie, YOU SHAVE IT!!!!
I find your lack of hair disturbing
The hills are alive, with the sound of razors.......
Who is more foolish, the Wookie or the one who shaves the Wookie?
TK-421, why aren't you shaven?
Let go of your fur.
You haven't shaved anything 'til you've shaved a wookie.
Shaving wookies is my goal in life.
I wonder if shaving an ewok is anything like shaving a wookie. There's only one way to find out! (sound of razor)
The National Wookie Shaving Day has yet to be announced.
The Shaven Wookies are out there...
Envision a Shaven Wookie marching band...complete with (female) Shaven Wookie baton twirlers.
"Let him have it, it's not wise to shave a Wookie."
"But sir! No one worries about shaving a droid!"
"That's 'cause droids don't pull peoples' arms out of their sockets when they're shaved. Wookies are known to do that." ---Han and Threepio
"You be careful. I've shaved Wookies in 12 systems"
--Dr. Evazen, when Chewie accidentaly bumped into him
Do Wookies use electric razors or just Bic?
"Heh, heh! Look Beavis! Shaven Wookie!"
Shaven Wookie Drama: "Go ahead! Shave me! I don't CARE!!!" ::sobs::
Save the whale, save the panda, SHAVE THE WOOKIE

SteveBauti@aol.com

On the way home from work in the rain, I ran over a SHAVENWOOKIE!!!

i176717@imswood.com

A Shaven Wookie in the hand is worth two in the bush.
A Preist, a Rabbi and a Shaven Wookie walk into a bar.....
I shave my Wookie constantly.
If you shaved your Wookie, would it get cold?

JadedMara@aol.com

My wookie's bigger than yours!
A shaven wookie contest. Hey, imagine a shaven wookie in a wet T-shirt contest!
The only good wookie is a shaven wookie.

jedi-369@usa.net

Shaven Wookie Cereal. Unless they're weird, your kids will eat it.
"These aren't the Shaven Wookies you're looking for."
--Obi-Wan
Any tall person could really be a Shaven Wookie wearing clothes...
They could be EVERYWHERE, MAN!
There was this bright light, and then a tunnel, and a feeling of love... And then, I saw... A Shaven Wookie...
My shaven wookie pulled the arms off of your honor student.
"I won't fail you. I'm not afraid to shave..."
"....Ohhh. You will be. You WILL be..."
"Shaven Wookies. We don't need their scum."
--Piett
"What if he shaves. He's worth a lot to me hairy."
--Boba Fett
Does your Wookie shave? Well then, you need PROFESSIONAL STRENGTH Drain-O...
Cantina scene: "I'll be careful"... "You'll be SHAVED!"
Seeing Bigfoot in Washington state is one thing. Seeing a Shaven Wookie, however...
Scully to Mulder:
"You mean to tell me that you think Shaven Wookies had something to do with this?"
Sesame Street song:
"Put down the Wookie - PUT DOWN THE WOOKIE -
Ya gotta put down the Shaven Wookie -
if ya wanna play the saxophone...!"
Stopped at a red light, you see a Shaven Wookie driving the car next to you.
Darth Vader, allergic to Wookie fur. Solution?
"Commander, have the Wookie shaved before it is brought on board. See to it PERSONALLY..."
(clearly uncomfortable) "Y-Yes, M'Lord..."
Envision a Shaven Wookie driving an Ice Cream Truck.
Imperial AT-AT drivers have Shaven Wookie air fresheners hanging in their cockpits.
Those hair-cutter things you attatch to vacuum cleaners?
Bad cuts from those things are the #1 source of the Shaven Wookie phenomenon.
Envision albino Shaven Wookies.
That Shaven Wookie at the red light? He's driving a silver-green '63 Stingray and he wants to race you...
Go ahead. Shave my Wookie.
--Clint Eastwood
Envision a Shaven Wookie's dream of flying.
Envision a Shaven Wookie as your gas station attendant.

gmdavis@mci2000.com

Know what they're REALLY hiding at Area 51? Shaven wookies.
Envision a shaven wookie singing opera.
You can lead a wookie to a razor, but you can't make him shave.
Would somebody get this big walking . . . uh . . . carpet pad out of my way!?
Star Wars. Shaven Wookie. Same first letters. Coincidence? I think not
Casting for the prequels still isn't completed. They haven't decided who's going to play the shaven wookie.
"Like a wookie . . . shaving for the very first time . . . "
Julius Caesar: "I came, I saw, I shaved a wookie."
Will Rogers: "I never met a shaven wookie I didn't like."
Wouldn't it be fun to have a Clue game where the object is to find out who shaved the wookie?
If you love a wookie set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, HUNT IT DOWN AND SHAVE IT!!!
James Bond:
"One wookie . . . shaven, not trimmed."
Imagine a shaven wookie sporting a Mohawk and sunglasses.
Some of the benefits of shaving your wookie:
No more unsightly tangles
No more nasty hairballs on the carpet
No more clogged drains
Baths are a snap, drying is a snap, no combing required.
Fleas and shedding are things of the past
A shaven wookie loves to be petted!
Yoda: "Shaved the wookie well you have, Luke . . . but before a barber you may call yourself, pass the final test you must . . ."
Luke: Nooooooooooooooooo!!!! I have to shave a BANTHA?
Forget shaven, imagine a wookie with full-body cornrows.
Shaving wookies . . . it's not just a job, it's an adventure!
"Houston, we have a shaven wookie."
From the original draft of Contact:
Ellie: "Back it up a little bit, fine tune the signal. Good lord . . . ! It's a shaven wookie!!"
To the tune of Monty Python's Lumberjack Song: "I'm a shaven wookie & I'm OK, I sleep all night and I shave all day"
("He's a shaven wookie & he's OK, he sleeps all night and he shaves all day.")
Envision a shaven wookie Beanie Baby.
I'm wookie enough, I'm shaven enough, and doggone it, people LIKE me!
If you ain't shaved a wookie, you ain't diddly squat!
Two shaven wookies sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
I'll shave my wookie if you shave yours first.
With apologies to Dr. Seuss:
"You can shave your wookie in a car, you can shave him in a bar. You can shave him on a train, in the rain, in a plane--you can shave your wookie ANYWHERE!!"
Indy, looking down into the Well of Souls:
"Shaven wookies. Why did it have to be shaven wookies?"
Indy in the Venice catacombs:
"Dad'd never have made it past the shaven wookies. He hates shaven wookies, can't stand the sight of 'em."
"The Remington is with you, young Chewbacca . . . but you are not a shaven wookie yet."
"Look, Princess, if I don't get us through this, I'll . . . I'll . . . I'll shave my wookie!" (Thunderous howl of protest from Chewie)
Motti: "If the Rebels have obtained a shaven wookie, it is possible, however unlikely, that they might find a reason to exploit it to call attention to Imperial excesses."
Vader: "The shaven wookie you refer to will soon be back in our hands."
"Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral, I want that shaven wookie, and not excuses."
"I shall assume personal responsibility for losing the shaven wookie, and apologize to Lord Vader."
"I have not yet begun to shave this wookie."
--John Paul Jones
"I cannot tell a lie, Father, I shaved this wookie with your razor."
--George Washington
"Jabba, this is your last chance. Shave your wookie, or die."
Never underestimate the power of a shaven wookie.
Everything I really need to know, I learned from a shaven wookie.
Leia: Why you stuck up, half-wit, scruffy looking . . . wookie shaver!
Han: Who's a wookie shaver?
"Oh no . . . I'll never shave this wookie!"
"So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?"
"Master, shaving my face is one thing, but this is totally different."
"No! No different!! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned."
"All right, I'll give it a try."
"No!! Try not. Shave the wookie. Or shave it not. There is no try."
"Let them shave wookies."
--Marie Antoinette
Yeah, yeah, Hercules was a pretty tough guy . . . but did he ever try to shave a Wookie?
With apologies to Arthur C. Clarke:
"And because in all the Universe, they had found nothing more precious than Hair, they encouraged its growing everywhere. They became barbers in the fields of stars . . . they moussed, and sometimes they permed."
"And sometimes, dispassionately . . . they had to shave wookies."

dakidd@intermind.net

I break for shaven wookies.
Shaven Wookie on board.
Shaven Wookie happens.
I [heart] shaven wookies.
Vote YES to shaven wookies.
Save the shaven wookies!

The Monty Python route:
Your mother was a hampster and your father smells of shaven wookies.
Oh, it's just a shaven wookie is it!?
The Knights who say 'Shaven Wookie'.
She turned me into a shaven wookie... I got better.

Miscellaneous:
Disney film: 101 shaven wookies.
Salvadore Dali Painting:
Geopoliticus Child Watching the Shaving of a Wookie.
A little song, a little dance; a shaven wookie on a lance.
Friends, Romans, countrymen; lend me your shaven wookies.
Led Zepplin Song:
Stairway to Shaven Wookie.

UltraK@concentric.net, DarkThundr@aol.com, & Sarlacc@concentric.net

Look sir, Shaven Wookies!
--Stormtrooper
"Who are you?"
"I am Batman!"
"Funny, you look like a shaven wookie."
--Cut scene from Batman
Suddenly, a shaven wookie blows up.
"Well, you're not like a shaven wookie at all."
"Well, how many shaven wookies do you know?"
--Cut scene from Dragonheart
There are certain rules one must abide by while shaving a wookie, 1st......
--From the first draft of Scream
Envision a shaven wookie busting out of a guy's chest.
Take this shaven wookie, but beware, it carries a terrible curse.
--From a long-lost episode of The Simpsons