Archive III
Jennifurri@aol.com
- I'd rather kiss a shaven wookie.
- Don't get mad, get shaven.
- Killing me softly with his wookie.
- I wonder if any wookies shave with lightsabers?
- Have you had your wookie today?
jbrother@olivet.edu
- Envision a shaven wookie in a diaper and a neckbrace.
WhiteMike@aol.com
rand4414@riconnect.com
- He who shaves a wookie and runs away, lives to shave another day.
- It's best to let a shaven wookie lie.
- A shaven wookie in the hand is worth two mearly lathered up.
- We came,
We saw,
We shaved the wookie.
- uh...hi, my name is Han and I'm a recovering wookie shaver.
- People, go to your windows, throw up the shade, lean outside, and scream "I'm mad as hell
and I'm not going to shave the wookie anymore!!"
jfronza@purdue.edu
ktighe@cancom.net
- Hey there, you kids, can't you read the sign? It says "DON'T SHAVE THE WOOKIE"
- In the voice of Elmer Fudd:
Shhhh...be vewy, vewy, qwiet, I'm shaving my wookie.
JSTODDERT@severnschool.com
- What is the sound of one Wookie shaving?
- If a tree falls on a wookie, would he shave?
- Make sure to use Gillette Shavers when shaving wookies.
klm@centralperk.com
- In space, no-one can hear you shave a Wookie.
- Inside every Wookie there is a shaven Wookie trying to get out.
- (In the voice of RiffRaff)
"Let's shave the Wookie again!!!!"
- Envision a shaven Wookie conducting the 1812 overture.
- Envision a shaven Wookie coming round to read your Gas meter.
- The hand that shaves the Wookie is the hand that rules the world.
- Envision a Shaven Wookie-one-man-band.
majors@bitterroot.net
- I suggest a new strategy: Let the Wookie shave.
- It's the new bestselling thriller: The Shaven Wookie Discovers Five-o-clock
Shadow
- I am a Wookie: therefore I shave.
- Who wears short shorts? Shaven Wookies wear short shorts!
- Razors? There's nothing better than a good blaster at your side.
- Look out, Mr. Clean, I hear the wookies are shaving.
- Every time a bell rings, a wookie shaves his finger.
- Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't a Wookie, was he?
- Wookie shaving recapitulates phylogeny.
maximilian.micka@stud.uni-regensburg.de
- The ability to shave a Wookie is insignificant next to the power of The Force.
SStoker267@aol.com
- A Wookie Shavin'?? Ya right!!!
cyberia@io-online.com
- Envision a shaven wookie, spam in one hand, rose in the other.
nubson@uslink.net
- I want to touch a shaven wookie.
oboss@flash.net
- Envision a shaven wookie named Laura Smith with her swim team, from Carrollton, and all
of them putting Nair on their legs.
- Envision a shaven wookie in love, but then out of nowhere shaving her boyfriend for having
this put on the page.
- Laura Smith and a wookie named Taryn are different from all the other wookies, they
shave.
- Gillette Razors, the best a wookie can get. Now in 100 packs for only $10.95
abacalla@bellsouth.net
- Imagine a shaven wookie in mud wrestling.
kiffy16365@hotmail.com
- a shaven wookie by any other name would smell as bad.
- Q: Why did the shaven wookie cross the road?
A: To join the hair club for wookies! (He's not just a member--He'sthe president!!!)
mpetry@dixienet.com
- Beware the shaven wookie with a stubble.
stephg@netcom.com
- Imagine a Jawa shaving a wookie.
- I have come for the shaving on this wookie.
- The great Wookie asks WHY you must shave him.
- There is no baldness, there is shavenness.
There is no peace, there is the sound of a wookie being shaven.
There is no death, there is the Razor.
- I felt a great disturbance in the Razor. As if millions of power lines suddenly had a surge, and
were suddenly cut off.
MegN321@aol.com
- A shaven wookie is a terrible thing to waste.
- Shaven wookie, I am your father!
- Envision a shaven wookie in gymnastics.
- Envision a shaven wookie in synchronized swimming.
102456.3710@compuserve.com
- "Search your feelings, Chewie. You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you, let go of
your Bic razor!"
"It is too late for me, wookie. The barber will show you the true nature of the razor. He is your
shaver now."
"Then my wookie is truly shaven."
- "It is the form of your true wookie, you've only forgotten. I know there is hair in you, the
barber hasn't shaven it from you fully. That was why you couldn't shave me. That's why you
won't bring me to your barber now."
- "Obi-Wan has shaved you well."
- "I will not shave you, wookie."
"You are unwise to lower your razors!"
- "You couldn't bring yourself to trim me before and I don't believe you'll shave me now."
- "You underestimate the power of a shaven wookie."
- "Your feeble wookies are no match for the razors of the Dark Side."
- "If you will not shave your wookie, then perhaps she will."
- "Never. I'll never shave my wookie. You've failed, your Highness, I am an
anti-wookie-shaver!"
"So be it . . . . wookie."
- "If you will not be turned, your wookie will be shaven!"
- Luke's conversation with the suicidal Chewbacca:
"Luke . . . help me shave this hair off."
"But you'll die."
"Nothing can stop that now. Just for once . . . let me feel you with my own skin."
pcplus@worldnet.att.net
In Monty Python's Holy Grail:
- "What is the airspeed velocity of a shaven Wookie?"
- "You've got two shaven Wookies and you're banging them together....."
- " I bet you're a shaven Wookie.." "No I'm not!"
wookie@pe.net
- Stop with all the shaving talk! I like my hair!!
OoJainaSoO@aol.com
- How many strokes of the razor does it take to shave a whole wookie?
darknight@cntn.net
- I find your lack of shaven wookies disturbing.
--Darth Vader
- Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a shaven wookie out of my hat!
--Bullwinkle
- If it talks like a shaven wookie, smells like a shaven wookie, and
looks like a shaven wookie, then it must be a shaven wookie!
Anonymous
- Envision a shaven wookie on a slip'n'slide.
- Envision a shaven wookie in an old Bruce Lee movie.
- How would an unshaven wookie react to a dull razor?
- How would an unshaven wookie react to a pair of tweezers?
byronn@ix.netcom.com
- Shaven Wookies of the world unite.
- Once you shave your Wookie you'll never go back
- Real men don't shave their Wookies
- Shave your Wookie and smile
- A shaven wookie in every home by the year 2000
- SPF 30 for Shaven wookies
- Wanted - will trade dog for shaven Wookie
thompson_ajs@msn.com
- When 900 years you reach, shave as smooth you will not. Hmmmmm?
--Yoda's lines from early draft of Return of the Jedi
- There aren't enough razors on this ice cube to shave a wookie.
--Han Solo's lines from early draft of Empire Strikes Back.
- How are you feeling, kid? You don't look so bad to me. In fact, you look strong enough to
shave a wookie.
--Han Solo's lines from an early draft of Empire Strikes Back.
opher-n-amy@geocities.com
- TK421, why aren't you at your shaving post?
- Envision a Wookie on a hair loss program.
- Luke:"Is this your Shaven Wookie?
Obi-Wan Kenobi:"I don't ever recall owning a Shaven Wookie."
memackin@fcg.net
- Ask not what your wookie can do for you, but what you can do for your wookie.
shmoo@wt.net
- Top 9 updated reasons why you must shave a wookie:
1. Imagine a Wookie as a chef...what a hair net!
2. Lice
3. Work requirements: Must Be Clean Shaven
4. Wookie would go broke at the Barber Shop.
5. Hair Club for men pays good for real hair.
6. Mange
7. Would take too long at customs.
8. Tongue Twisters!!! How much hair could a wookie spare if he'd nare all the hair that was
there?
9. Can't count all the split ends.
rexrock@hotmail.com
- Envision an unshaven wookie on television that swore to you that Rogaine worked for
him.
JediHeart2@aol.com
- Will a book entitled How to Shave Your wookie ever be published?
- Shave your wookie. It is your destiny.
- Palmreader or fortune teller: "What's this? I see shaven wookies in your future."
- Shaving a wookie has become a science
- I'll shave my wookie if you shave yours.
- I have things to do, places to go, people to see, wookies to shave...
- Put "professional wookie shaver" on your profile when it asks for your occupation.
- Wow, that must take a heckuva razor to shave a wookie!
- Sure Darth Vader could blow up a planet, but can he shave a wookie?
- (Paul Revere rides away yelling...) ...The wookies are shaving! The wookies are
shaving!
kbach@spooky.lis.ab.ca
- Luke: "I'm looking for a great shaven wookie."
Yoda: "Ah.. Shaving not make one great."
- In space all wookies are shaven wookies.
JabwockDotCom@webtv.net
- How much is that Wookie in the window?
The one with the shaven head.
- Shaven Wookies!...HA!...You aint seen nothin' till you've tried a Bantha!
- I tried shaving Wookies last summer; it was cool. This summer Im going for Extreme
Wampa Shaving!
hoare@cableinet.co.uk
- "Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into
the brain. This is the reason why shaven wookies are uptight."
--Danny in Withnail & I
Wakeawake@aol.com
- God creates dinosaurs
God destroys dinosaurs
God creates man
Man destroys God
Man creates Wookies
Man shaves Wookies
Shaven Wookies destroy man
Shaven Wookies and woman inherit the Earth and live in perfect harmony.
lclark@mergetel.com
- Have you ever seen a Shaven Wookie's Tan Lines?
- What Kind of tanning lotion do Shaven Wookies use?
- Friends don't let Friends Shave wookies.
vhcwright@dpnet.net
- It's eleven, and do you know were your shaven wookie is?
visage.cw@juno.com
- The Emperor: "I am defenseless, take your razor shave me down with all of your hatred and
your journey toward the barber will be complete."
- Young fool, only now, that your shaved, do you understand.
--Emperor
- "I want shaven wookies, not excuses."
--Vader
- "If you only knew the power of a razor."
--Vader
- "Fear will keep them in line, fear of this razor!"
--Tarkin
- "We're about to be shaved and your getting delusions of granduer."
--Threepio
- "Red Leader standing by."
"Grey leader standing by."
"Green leader standing by."
"Lock razors into shave position."
--Rebel pilots preparing to shave a wookie.
thesmokey@geocities.com
- Actual first try of Merchant of Venice:
Has a wookie not eyes?
Has a wookie not hands?
If you shave us, do we not shiver?
- Help! I've fallen into a pile of shaven wookie hair and I can't find my way out!!
- An actual quote from the original Batman:
Robin: Holy Shaven Wookies Batman!!
- Remember the dance "The Swim"? Try "The Shave". Grab an air razor and
pretend to shave all over, while gyrating hips.
- How many wookies could a Bic razor shave, if a Bic razor could shave wookies?
- Would a shaven wookie with stubble stick like Velcro?
EggmanMMT@aol.com
- I am the wookie Goo Goo Gjoob!
pilot@coqui.net
Wicket0709@aol.com
- Envision a shaven wookie drinking Coke and surfing the net!
- Envision a shaven wookie buying a year's supply of Rogaine.
Anonymous
- Stop with the Shaven Wookies! Gimme an Ewok!!!
- Some of my best friends are Shaven Wookies.
- How many Shaven Wookies does it take to shave a Wampa?!?