Archive IV

Anonymous

Make sure your Shaven Wookie uses suntan lotion!!!
If you don't, envision a burnt Wookie! Burnt Wookies pull people's arms out of their sockets when you pat them on the back.
Be very careful when putting aftershave on a Shaven Wookie.

independent01@mindspring.com

Envision a Shaven Wookie in a high chair.
Envision a Shaven Wookie skydiving.

histone@earthlink.net

Cut from the script of Hamlet:
"Alas, poor Wookie! I shaved him well."
A razor a day keeps the Wookies away.
...and now, you, too, can be a Shaven Wookie!!
Alright, who brought the Shaven Wookie to the party?

killian@lcc.net

Get your Shaven Wookie with no ''strings''attached.

ambacall@mail.mia.bellsouth.net

Envision a Shaven Wookie frolicking through a meadow.

bkhales@shadowlink.net

Lions and Tigers and Shaven Wookie's, OH MY!!
Were off to shave my Wookie,.......
We are the Knights that say "SHAVE MY WOOKIE".
Do Orthodox Wookies Shave?
I am Earl Schribe,... And I'll Shave that Wookie For 49.95
Do a little Dance, Make a little Love, Shave your Wookie, Shave your Wookie.
Prymat, This is Unacceptable, We will Shave the Wookie.

quintus@globalxs.nl

Julius Caesar: "Et tu, Shaven Wookie?"
"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your razor. I've come to shave your Wookie, not to praise him."
Wookie, portrait of a serial shaver.
A small step for a man, a great shave for a Wookie.
A shave a day keeps the Wookie away.
My name is Wookie, Shaven Wookie.

tyson@powerup.com.au

Envision kissing a Shaven Wookie ... talk about beard burn.

atk@europa.com

Envision a Shaven Wookie sitting on the counter, eating ice cream.
Would a Shaven Wookie have to wear clothes?
Envision a Shaven Wookie with Band-Aids all over his body.
Would Pepsi use Shaven Wookies for their advertisements?

A.G.Donaldson@hw.ac.uk

Lines from the first draft of Casablanca:
"Of all the Wookies in all the world, she had to shave mine."
"You shaved the Wookie for her, you can shave the Wookie for me"
"I wasn't afraid to shave a Wookie and I'm not afraid to shave you." "The Wookie's been shaved, round up the usual suspects."
Resistance is futile. Your Wookie will be shaved.
Razors don't shave Wookies. Wookies shave Wookies.
"Choose life, choose a job, choose a Shaven wookie."
--From an early draft of Trainspotting.

wookie@southeast.net

Portions of a Shaven Wookie's press conference:
...you do stick like velcro for the first couple of days...
...I find that shaving once a week is sufficient...
...sunburn is not a problem once the skin becomes accustomed to the sun...

HEJIRA28@classic.msn.com

Parker : Yes , me lady?
Bring me hither a Shaven Wookie with all it's grandeur!!
yes, me Lady!
Mavis Beacon teaches " Shaving for Wookies".
A Shaven Wookie dressed as a nun from the Sound Of Music.
Max voice from Hart to Hart: "That's my boss , Mr Hart. And that's his beautiful wife, the Shaven Wookie! And when they met ...it was murder!!!"
Voice from Bionic Man : " We have the technology, we can shave him"
Voice from The Prisoner: " I'm not a number , I'm A Shaven Wookie".
HAL dying voice: " I'm sorry Chewie .I can't do that. This mission is too important to shave you now".
Wicked Witch from the Wizard of OZ: " I'll get you my preeeetyyy, and I'll shave your Wookie toooo".
" Those slippers are mine...give them too me or I'll shave your Wookie"
As she melts: " I'm shaving...shaving...shaving ...aaaagh !"

stuartj@mail.wcresa.k12.mi.us

Envision a Shaven Wookie playing in the snow.
Envision what happened when Mala (Chewie's wife)saw what the Emperor did to him.

drpapa@brigadoon.com

In Space, No one can hear a Shaven Wookie scream.
In space no one can hear you shave your Wookie.
Every five minutes a Wookie is shaved.
You too can help a Shaven Wookie for just one dollar a day-(With Pictures of Shaven Wookies)
Man speaking to his son "Son, whe you grow up you too can shave a Wookie."

Qsilver307@aol.com

Life is like a Wookie shaven, you never know what you're gonna' get.

libragirl17@hotmail.com

**Dark side Chewbacca to Luke**:
"Take your Razor. Use it. Shave me down with all of your anger, all your hatred, and your journey towards rehab will be complete!"
"I will not Shave you!"
"If you will not Shave me, you shall be destroyed!"

Anonymous

Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough...its your father's Wookie shaver.
--Ben Kenobi
ock the doors, and hope they don't have Shaven Wookies.
--Han Solo

Phil@dts.powernet.co.uk

Rimmer: "Shave me a Wookie, I'll be back for Breakfast!"
Forget shaving a Wookie, Shave a wooly mammoth.
A Shaven Wookie is for life, not just for Christmas.
Haircut sir? No just Shave the Wookie....

kendall@motif1.obs-us.com

All a Wookie needs for Christmas is a Norelco......
"Tis the season to shave Wookies...."
buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz...........

tgreenwood@yahoo.com

You better not try to shave my Wookie.
You can shave my Wookie when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
Caption under a picture in a family album:
Baby Wookie's first shave.

webmaster@barvennon.com

You Won't Know The Facts Until You Shave The Wookie.
Choose Life. Choose a Job. Choose a Shaven Wookie.
Gentlemen, please, don't fight. This is the Shaven Wookie!
Watson, the Shaven Wookie is afoot!
Wookie. Shaven Wookie.
Furry, they were deadly. Now they have Bics.
The Razor Made Them Superstars.
Say, you know what they call a Shaven Wookie on Kashyyyk?
The stuff that Shaven Wookies are made of.
Come up and shave me sometime.

AiCaerulea@aol.com

He who shaves last shaves the Wookie.
If it looks like a Wookie, sounds like a Wookie, and smells like a Wookie, it's probaly shaven.
Envision a Wookie. Now envision a Shaven Wookie...
Shaven Wookie.. I like the sound of that.
"I'm a Shaven Wookie."
"No you're not!"
"You call this hunk of junk a Shaven Wookie?"
Envision Shaven Wookie tipping.
You've shaven your Wookie for the last time.
Eat.
Sleep.
Shave your Wookie.

Chenlambec@webtv.net

Never look a Shaven Wookie in the mouth.
Han: "Chewie, I really love you, man."
Chewbacca: "Han, you aren't getting my razor."
"Ooohhh ssshhhhhhhhhhhaven Wookie!"

LuvEwoks@aol.com

To the tune of the Toys 'R Us song:
I don't want to grow up
I'm a Shaven Wookie
If I could be anything
A Wookie I would be
I don't want to grow up
Because, baby, If I did
I wouldn't be a Shaven Wookie!!

FreeKe5695@aol.com

Always trim some of the Wookie hair before allowing the Wookie to try the Epilady.
Wookies have too much hair for hot wax.

hh2b05@nyro.brock.dk

You may shave when ready.

kalowe@bsuvc.bsu.edu

Beware the Wookie who has to use an Epi-Lady. Talk about arms getting ripped out of sockets...

iamaidle@cport.com

Envision a Shaven Wookie dancing the polka.
Envision a Shaven Wookie using a lightsaber for that clean, close shave.
Envision a Shaven Wookie dressed as a chicken and singing opera.
Envision a Shaven Wookie being chased by a 50 foot Bic Razor.
Envision a Shaven Wookie after shaving singing "How hairless I am...!"
LEGGO MY RAZOR!
IF YOU ARE A SHAVEN WOOKIE, LET YOUR PRESENCE BE KNOWN!!
Hey? What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen a guy shave his Wookie before?

CassielfSW@aol.com

You've heared the Monkees song "Zilch", right? Wanna know what they're really saying?
Peter: Mr. Shaven Wookie Mr. Bob Shaven Wookie
Mike: It is of my opinion that the Wookies are now shaving
Davy: Shaven Wookie calling for a razor
Micky: Nevermind the furthermore, I'm getting rid of my split ends!

MFVX5RMS@fs1.go.man.ac.uk

I came, I saw, I shaved Wookie
Don't be shaven in your Wookie haven
Ten stormtroopers went to shave, went to shave a Wookie,....
The inner thigh...to boldly shave where no-one has shaved a Wookie before.
Q: How do you shave a Wookie with a large razor?
A: Elementary my dear Solo.
Been there, done that, shaved the Wookie
Q: What do you get if you shave ten Wookies?
A: A spare Wookie

vestige@netrover.com

Homer:"Mmmmmmmmmm....Shaven Wookie."
Nair's no Wookie like a Shaven Wookie!

KNMB@runaway.reno.nv.us

If you shaved a wwokie, you could answer the age old question - "Is it male or female?"

rbgant@eaglenet.com

Envision a Shaven Wookie having a T.V. talk show.

Wakeawake@aol.com

This above all: to thy Shaven Wookie be true.

b.dann@student.qut.edu.au

Shall I compare thee to a Shaven Wookie,
Doth thou smell as sweet.
--Shakespeare
Quoth the Shaven Wookie "Never More!!!!"
--Poe
Shave Ye Wookies while Ye may
--Herrick
I've never seen a Shaven Wookie
I hope to never see one
But I can tell you anyhow
I'd rather see than be one
--Ogden Nash
Shave or dye.
A Wookie must like being shaved. Ever seen a one armed barber?
Spin your own Wookie wool for that warm winter wear.

s714@ii.uib.no

Envision a throng of Shaven Wookies chanting your name as the sky darkens and the ground begins to shake...

mpeters@peachnet.campus.mci.net

Charlton Heston, "Those bastards, they finally did it. They shaved a Wookie! Damn them! Damn them to HELL!!!!"
Dave from 2001: A Space Oddessy, "It's full of. . . .Shaven Wookies"
Envision Shaven Wookie Gymnastics
Grand Moff Tarkin, "Shave him?! In our moment of triumph? I think your overestimate their chances."

JBravo3928@aol.com

First draft of Beck's song Loser:
"I'm a Wookie baby, so why don't ya shave me."

paul.cutting@virgin.net

Get off your horse and shave my Wookie.
--John Wayne
The Good, The Bad and the Shaven Wookie
To boldly shave what no Shaven Wookie has ever shaved before!!!

ahughes@mail.globalserve.net

Be big. Be hairless. Be Shaven Wookie.

watucker@worldnet.att.net

"Ask yourself this question...do you feel shaven, Wookie?"
--Dirty Harry
Gentlemen...shave your Wookies!
All that is Wookie is not shaven.
When in Kashyyyk, shave as the Wookies do.
Envision the Shaven Wookie olympics:
Synchronized swimming Shaven Wookies
Shaven Wookie bobsledding
Shaven Wookie ice-skating
And, of course: all-star Wookie shaving
Envision a Shaven Wookie shaving YOU!!!