Archive V

Brettracer@aol.com

And you thought bald guys were shiny!

bj3333@gte.net

Envision a Shaven Wookie disco dancing.

blackadder@erols.com

Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a Shaven Wookie!

Katie98503@aol.com

Just shave it!
For the world is a sink and we are all Shaven Wookies.
Envision a Barbara Walters special with Shaven Wookies.
Houston, we shaved a Wookie!

marianasolis@hotmail.com

Oh my God, they killed Shaven Wookie!

tiana-moonrider@home.com

Lando to Han: "I've got problems of my own. There's a Shaven Wookie in my room!"
Stay young. Have fun. Shave a Wookie.

paracho@rocketmail.com

Best-selling how-to book: Wookie Shaving for Dummies
"Oh my God! They shaved a Wookie!"
--From an early draft of South Park
Blessed are the Wookies, for they shall be shaven.
Original title for Titanic theme song: "My Wookie Will Shave On."
"Have you ever shaved a Wookie? It's nice."
--From an early draft of Basic Instinct
If a Wookie shaves, does the hair grow back thicker?

Fett8015@aol.com

"Help me, Obi-Shaven Wookie-Kenobi, you're my only hope."
Shaven Wookies of the world unite!
Why did the Wookie cross the road? To get his other razor!
The newest Olympic game! Shaven Wookie Mud Wrestling!
What's worse than a than a Death Star? A sunburned Shaven Wookie!
How much wood would a Shaven Wookie chuck if a Shaven Wookie could chuck wood?

dbovensiep@hotmail.com

Remember, a shaven wookie looks like a 7 foot chihuahua.

jchwir1@itger.towson.edu

Shaven Wookie, two bits!
"It's all about this Wookie...who's this regular shave machine...I'm talkin' mornin', day, night, afternoon...shave, shvae, shave, shave, shave, shave, shave, shave, shave." "How many Shaven Wookies is that? A lot."
--From an early draft of Reservoir Dogs
A la Cheap Trick: "I want you to shave me. I need you to shave me. I'd love you to shave me. I'm a Wookie to be shaven."
A la the Last Resort: Oi! Oi! Wookie! Get yerself shaved!
If my Wookie was half as ugly as you, I'd shave him and make him walk backwards.
Envision a Shaven Wookie with some fur tattoos.
Shaven Wookie Spice: "if you wanna shave my Wookie, you gotta shave all my friends"

sadv153@LARRY.HUC.UAB.EDU

Q: How many razors does it take to shave a Wookie?
A: None...but a lawnmower or a weedeater comes in handy.

Sephirajo@aol.com

To the tune of I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner:
I wish I were a SHAVEN WOOKIE
That is what I'd really like to be.
Because if I were a SHAVEN WOOKIE
Every one would be in love with me
Envsion a Shaven Wookie dancing the tango.
Envsion a Shaven Wookie as a mime.

DA1OUTKAST@aol.com

"Do you expect me to talk?" "No Mr. Bond, I expect you to shave my Wookie."
--From the lost James Bond film.
"I'm just going to have to find myself another Shaven Wookie." "No Vincini, don't say that."
--From an early draft of The Princess Bride.
"So you come to me to ask me a favor. I will grant you this favor, but some day I will call upon you to shave my wookie, and when I do, I will expect you to shave it with no questions asked."
--From an early draft of The Godfather.

Indiana27@juno.com

That's no moon, it's a Shaven Wookie.
Shaven is as shaven does.
1,2,3,4 come on baby shave a Wookie! 5,6,7 ti-imes.
The NBA: all Shaven Wookies, all the time.
What fools these Shaven Wookies be.
No more T.V. son, until you shave your Wookie! And that's an order.
Tear this ship apart until you've found those Bics! And bring me the Shaven Wookies, I want them alive.
Shave yourself a merry little Wookie.
Shave, shave, shave. Shave, shave, shave. Shave your Wookie.
If Chewie's son (Lumpy) shaved, would his name become a description? Ditto his dad Itchy.
Momma always told me "Life is like an unshaven Wookie. You never know what yer gonna get."
You must shave, or shave not. There is no fur.
Kashyyyk's plantery anthem: God Shave the Wookie
Solo: "What's the cargo?"
Kenobi: "Only passengers. Myself, the boy, Shaven Wookies, and no-questions-asked."

brad_j_w@hotmail.com

A Shaven Wookie is just a Shaven Wookie.
I wanna be just like a Shaven Wookie.
Luke: She's Shaven.
Han: Shaven?
Luke:Shaven, Hairless. Listen, if you were to "shave" her, the reward would be, be, well more then you can shave.
Han: I can shave alot.
We want you, We want you, We want you to shave a Wookie.
--Rough draft of In the Navy by the Village People
Envision a Shaven Wookie Driving a convertible.
Tastes like a Shaven Wookie.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Save.
Save Who?
Shave my wookie will ya.

Baxman@sunnet.net

"Shaving Wookies ain't like dusting crops boy, you nick an ear or shave to close to private part and that would end your shave real quick!!"
"Shaving Wookies in the the garbage bin, what a great idea!"
"There's nothing here for me now, I want to go with you to Alderaan and become a Shaven Wookie like my father."

spaceeye@escape.ca

Where do you want to shave your Wookie today?
Have you shaved your Wookie today?
Did somebody say Shaven Wookie?
There's only one way to shave a Wookie.
My kingdom for a Shaven Wookie!

wildflowers_82@hotmail.com

I bent my Shaven Wookie!
--Ralph from The Simpsons
Look sir, Shaven Wookies!
--Trooper on Tatooine holding up a razor.

flyingsquid47@hotmail.com

"The life of a Shaven Wookie is a sad and solitary existence. . . I know, for I am a Shaven Wookie."
"Oh, you are not!"
"Well, I want to be one."
"That doesn't count."
Shave your Wookie for cleanliness!
Envision a Shaven Wookie with a sugar rush.
It's a Shaven Wookie conspiracy!
Envision a Shaven Wookie doing the Time Warp!
Envision a Shaven Wookie as a guest on Martha Stewart Living.
What would a Shaven Wookie wear on Halloween?

Hungglder2@aol.com

Envision a Shaven Wookie, shaving a Wookie.
Seven brides for Shaven Wookies.
Take this Wookie and shave it,
I ain't working here no more.

abmice@galstar.com

shave shave shave, shave shave shave, shave your Wookie, shave your Wookie!

BeeJay149@aol.com

Kiss my Shaven Wookie!
O my gosh, they shaved Kenny!
--From the rough draft of South Park
Would someone shave this walking carpet?

geoffd1@yahoo.com

Envision a Shaven Wookie going to the refrigerator in the middle of the night for a snack.
Get your Shaven Wookie on Track with Nordic Trak!
Envision a possessed Shaven Wookie (Hey watch it with that razor! Ow!).
Envision a Shaven Wookie covered in tattos.
Say you're battling someone. When you're about to blow them up and make them all dead, call them up on the holovid and announce: "Kiss my Shaven Wookie!!"
Envision a Shaven Wookie with the hiccups.
Envision a Shaven Wookie doing the discuss throw in the Olympics.

philip.hibbs@tnt.co.uk

Is the Pope a Catholic? Does a Wookie shave in the woods?

AlAzrael@aol.com

Envision hugging a Shaven Wookie with whiskers.
Envision a Shaven Wookie with a goatee.
Every time a Wookie shaves, Head and Shoulders stock drops a point.
Yoda is a Shaven Wookie; you see, Chewbacca is actually the same size as Yoda when he is shaved, the rest is just fur.

john@multimediacollective.com

Shave the wookie and bring him to my quarters.
--Darth Vader

PorpoiseBoy

Go ahead punk, shave my Wookie!
A Wookie is a terrible thing to shave.
Hear the Rhyme of the Shaven Wookie...
Keep kosher, shave your Wookie.
Shaven Wookie - When you care enough to send the hairy-less.
Shaven! Australian for Wookie.
A Shaven Wookie saves nine.
Never take candy from a Shaven Wookie.

SuneV17@aol.com

Whaddya say? You shave my Wookie, I'll shave yours.
Today on Geraldo: Who shaved my Wookie?
All Shaven Wookie, All the Time
It's a bird; It's a plane; It's a Shaven Wookie!
The Shaven Wookies are coming! The Shaven Wookies are coming!
Envision a Shaven Wookie figure skating
This is a Wookie. This is a Shaven Wookie.
Got shaven wookie?

wess2358@mail.sou.edu

Shave me a Wookie!
Long lost Monty Python sketch:
Bring out your Shaven Wookies! Bring out your Shaven Wookies!
Here's one.
nine pence
I'm not Shaven!
what?
nothing, here's your nine pence.
I'm not shaven!
Here, he says he's not shaven
Yes he is.
I'm not!
He isn't?
Well he will be soon he's very bare.
I'm getting harrier!
No your're not you'll be completely naked in a moment
I can't take him like that! It's against regulations!
I dont want to go on the cart!
Oh don't be such a Skywalker!
I can't take him.
I feel bushy!
Oh, do us a favor...
I can't!
Well could you wait around a couple of minutes, he won't be long
No. I 've got to go to the robinsons', they've shaved 9 today!
Well when's your next run?
Thursday.
I think I'll go comb my hair now!
You're not fooling anyone ya know..
Look, isn't there something you can do?
I feel hairy! I feel hairy!
(bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
Ah, Thanks very much!
Not at all...
See you on Thursday
Right...
Right.

Elireyn@aol.com

Envision Han Solo arranging Leia's kiss with a Shaven Wookie!

sanang@bmts.com

Take your Shaven Wookie, and all those other Shaven Wookies, and get them the hell out of here!
Mommy, this Shaven Wookie followed me home. May I keep him?
Oh I wish I were a great big Shaven Wookie
oh that is what I truly want to be
oh and if I were a great big Shaven Wookie
everyone would be in love with me!
--Early draft of the Oscar Mayer weiner song
Doctor, I turned into a Shaven Wookie overnight, what do I do?!?

jlembke@jps.net

After a nice shave, don't forget to wipe your Wookie.

phillip6@earthlink.net

If had a Wookie
I'd shave it in the morning
I'd shave it the evening
All over this land...

sanang@bmts.com

Envision a Shaven Wookie with a mohawk.
Envision a Shaven Wookie skateboarding in the streets with small children.
What do you get when you cross a Shaven Wookie with a beaver?
A shaven beaver!!!
Do female Wookies tweeze?

Adgramaine@aol.com

Excerpt from the original script of Labrynth:
You remind me of the wookie
What wookie?
The wookie with the razor
What razor?
The razor of voodoo
Who do?
you do
Do what?
Remind me of the wookie...
Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the next....I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but i've never seen nothing to make me believe in one all-powerful Shaven Wookie.... their are no Bics or Norelcos near Chewie.....
--Han Solo
Excerpt from the original script for Clue: Is this your house?
Oh, no sir, I am merely the Shaven Wookie.
And what is it that you do exactly?
I shave, sir...
From the original script of Twister: ..I have to let you go now, we have Shaven Wookies!
Do a lil' dance, buy a new Bic, shave your Wookie....
Rough draft of Don't Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith:
and i don't wanna shave your Wookie
cause even when i dream of Bics
the biggest bic would never do
cause he's still furry, baby
and i don't wanna shave your Wookie...
From the original script of Dragon Heart:
Sorry about that, Solo... I hope you like your Wookies shaven..

fpelliot@dynamite.com.au

Why do you snigger so when I say the name Naughtius Maximus?
Well, it's a joke name sire, like Sillius Sausage and Shaven Wookie.

Pirttgs@lambgh.com

It depends on what your definition of Shaven Wookie is...
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking did he shave six Wookies or only five? Well to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being this is a Norelco, the most powerful electric razor in the Galaxy and would shave your hair clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel hairless? Well do you Wookie?
--Dirty Harry
There's more than one way to shave a Wookie.
The few, the proud, the Shaven
That's not a Shaven Wookie. This is a Shaven Wookie!
--Crocodile Dundee
Now is the time for all good Shaven Wookies to come to the aid of their country.
You can shave SOME of the Wookies some of the time, ALL of the Wookies SOME of the time, but you can never shave ALL of the Wookies ALL of the time
--Abraham Lincoln
This is your Wookie. This is your Wookie shaved. Any questions?
A Shaven Wookie is a terrible thing to waste.

CassielfSW@aol.com

I am Chewbacca the Wookie - You shaved my father - prepare to die!!
--From an early draft of The Princess Bride