Subject:      RASSM Analyze the Nut Boy  Re: SOMEWON SCARES ME THEY TOLD ME ILL GET HERT
From:         Scott Chitwood <scott@otrc5.tamu.edu>
Date:         1997/05/14

Good Evening and welcome to another edition of 'Analyze the Nut Boy'.  I
am your host, Jedi Chitwood.  Today on our guest panel is Dr. Ruth
Westheimer...

"Hallo, yoo sexy Jedi!"

....The Spirit of Freude...

"Yo."

....And Yoda...

"Help you we can!  Yes!  Mmmmm!"

Our experts will help us examine resident RASSM psychos, perverts,
inbreds, and Trekkies.  Ah, I see we have our first caller!  Hello,
Chucky, you're on RASSM live.  Tell us your problems.

> SOME WON SCARES ME CAUSE THEY TOLD ME ILL GET HERT IF I EMAIL HIM
> ANYMORE

Chucky!  Chucky!   Please stop yelling.  Now Yoda, do you have any
advice for him?

"Fear!  The Dark Side it is!"

But does he have reson to be paranoid?

"Yes!  Kick his butt, I would like!  Yes!!"

OK, please continue, Chukster.

>WHY DOES HE HURT ME I DONT WANT TO BE BUT HE DOESNT KNOW WHERE I
> LIVE SO HE CANT HERT ME

Yoda? Care to respond?

"Hurt him I want to, too!  Yes!  Yelling, you must stop!"

Go on, Upchuk.

>ANY WAY PRINCESS HULLEAH KISSED LUNDO BUT CHEWY
> LIKES LUNDO SO THEY CANT BE GOOD GUYS SO

Dr. Ruth?  What's Chuckinators problem with sex?

"Vell, perhaps he iz, shall ve say, inadequate in certain attributes.
Ack, maybe his fascination vith Chewbacca means zat he iz attracted to
animals."

Hmmm. Interesting.  You were saying, Chukolama?

>STAR TREK IS BEDDER BECAUSE ITS
> A THINKIN MANS SHOW GESS WHAT MY BIRTHDAY IS CUMMING UP SOON AND I 
>WANT THE MICRO MUSHEENS SET THAT I WANT

Freude, could you comment on this?

"Absolutely!  I have a theory on why someone would pretend to be a
retarded 5 year old.  It must be because of his mother."

What, did she raise him to be a sissy boy?

"Well, that's possible, but I was thinking maybe she dropped him on his
head as a baby."

Ah!  It all makes sense now.  Well, that's all the time we have for this
edition of Analyize the Nut-Boy.  BI'd like to thank our analists for
their brilliant insight tonight.  Be back next time when we talk to,
Ba-Ba Booey,  Travis ILM.

Good Night everyone.