Subject:      The 8 types of Star Wars fans
From:         tedehlers@aol.com (Ted Ehlers)
Date:         1996/08/28

There are many kinds of Star Wars fans.
There are more types SW fans than there are Trekkies, that's for sure.
For example, the 5 Trekkies (aka Trekkers)
Trekkie A: Classic Trek purist.
Trekkie B: Likes classic Trek and Shatner era movies.
Trekkie C: Likes Next Generation and Deep Space 9,
and new Trek Movies, Thinks classic trek is "funny"
Trekkie D: Likes Deep Space Nine, Voyager, dislikes
grainy old Kirk era.
Trekkie E: Likes everything, collects everything.

There are shades of grey here, like a Voyager fan who likes Kirk,
etc. But there are only 5 basic types. However, there are 8
different Star Wars fans!

SW fan 1: Original Star Warrior.
(OSW) OSW's are the teens and 20 somethings who lined up around the
local cineplex in May 1977, wearing "May the force be with you" pins and
iron on tees. They had sideburns and afros, and parted down the middle
Brady-hair. They saw all the movies in the theater several times.
Now, they simply await the prequels. Some are in their 40's now.

SW fan 2: Toy kids
(TK) TK's were born around the Star Wars Era, the oldest Toy kids were born
in 1974 and the youngest in 1979. They probably saw Jedi in the theaters,
and some saw Empire, but Hardly and TK's saw SW 4, ANH. They saw it on HBO
and on Betamax, and in re-release. These kids are surly slackers now, they
collect all the toys they played with for years then threw away as they
outgrew them. They are in the comic stores, the sci-fi conventions, and
all places where nerds and Gen-X'ers tread. They often have recurring
nightmares where they rip open those priceless figures and toss that mint
card into dad's garbage bag on Christmas/Xmas/Channuka/Dec 25.  They
won't make that mistake again, as they horde Power of the Force stuff,
as if anything that collected and that high production run will ever
really be worth the inflated priceguide in Wizzard says.
(How can POTF Boba Fett be worth $20 when I can go to Toy's R Us
and buy piles of them for $4.99?)

SW fan 3: Gamers
Gamers play role-playing games and simms. All ages.
"I cut your laser beam in half with lighsaber."
"Don't you mean deflect?"
"Oh, yeah, deflect. 20 force points"
Also known as
"You are an elf with one gold coin and a dagger..."

SW fan 4: Kids
They're here. They're 10 years old.
Fresh from a marathon THX non-letterboxed VHS trilogy-fest,
they're gonna be plastered when they see it on the big screen.

SW fan 5: General public
The reason SW is the number 2 hit of all time, Joe Public and his wife,
Linda Public pay for George Lucas's funky FX ranch. See the moustache
wearing millions declare universal love for Wookies, then forget
about it one week after. See the white trash wondering if Darth Vader
is a robot or what. It's gonna be Yoda-riffic.

SW fan 6: Kevin Smith
He loves the Empire Strikes Back, and so do I. Kevin and I worship
Boba Fett, and wonder "How could I encorporate Fettisms into my life?

SW fan 7: The cool girl.
Look at her, there she is looking at that Snowspeeder toy.
Is that CK1 I smell? I think I'm gonna tell her she should go out
with me 'cause I'm a scoundrel.  But will she wear the buns?
Wait, there she goes...
Blast it, she's meeting her boyfriend at the checkout! Damn it!!!

SW fan 8: Paranoid Schizophrenic man.
He's got a theory about Reagan building a Death Star in geosynchronic
orbit above New York. It's true.