From: "Bas-Jan Walewijk" Subject: Re: Flies on the wall (was: over 300 posts about taco bell claiming rights in rassm city) Date: Wed, 5 Nov 1997 23:22:27 +0100 oblio-1 wrote: >speaking of flies on the wall... i'd love to have been a fly on the wall >for the 'luke you've switched off your targetting computer, what's wrong' >conversation. in the movie, everyone in the 'war room' was nice and calm >and collected. cha.. ok the last ship that can save our butts just >switched off the one device that can target the death star?!?!?! um, yes >i bet there was yelling, swearing, panic, and prayer as you panned around >the room... *chuckles* "Ohmigod he's lost his mind!" "We're all gonna DIEEEE!!!" "Check his oxygen... quickly, check his oxygen, dammit!" "Maaaaannnn..." >oblio-1 >luke...what's wrong? >nothing, i just heard the voice of an old dead guy telling me to try to >eyeball it. if only i had put my contacts back in before i left... "That Skywalker's a sorry excuse for a soldier, I tell ya. *And* mentally unstable from the day him and his scruffy weirdo pals signed up, tagging along with the Princess of Pebbleville. You know, the guy actually hears voices in his head, they tell me. And not just harmless ones either! I mean, that trick at Yavin nearly killed us all, right? "Still, you'd have thought he'd have learnt his lesson after that, what with the court martial and all. So the top brass thought they'd let him off the prison colony early - you know, he only did three years in the end. They put him on some out-of-the-way icecube planet of course, making sure he couldn't do any real harm... and a good thing that was too: I mean, first assignment they give him, bang! he's all psycho again, seeing visions of a dead guy in the snow. And after that he just went AWOL in the middle of a battle, taking a droid and an X-wing with him. Then, weeks later, he shows up at - get this - an imperial-occupied facility, gets into a big fight with the Imps' Main Man, and this guy just chops the nutty kid's hand right off! Like, *shick!* The guys got a good laugh out of *that*, you can imagine. "Anyway, the business with the hand gave the General a good excuse to put him on the 'medical frigate' for 'observation'. Yeah, right. Guy never had a clue he was kept drugged-up in a closed mental ward; spent six months staring at the wallpaper, haw haw haw. Too bad the medical droid finally pronounced him sane, 'cause WHAM! less than five minutes later he's having some manic episode and he's off to his home planet, pretending he's a Jedi Knight and - I'm dead serious here - he then goes and butchers near everybody on some tacky corporate outing, including the top guy himself. "Ah, they should've shot him there an' then. But before anyone can find him or press charges, he's already volunteered for a suicide mission. Great, think the Joint Chiefs, that's one way to solve the problem of their little loose cannon. He's bound to get psychotic again and end up dead, right? Sure enough, no sooner has the team enlisted the help of the natives or Skywalker goes off to surrender to the Imps! That's right! No kidding! Is this guy nuts or what? Or maybe just shell-shocked, heck, I don't know. Afterwards, it turned out he never surrendered at all, of course; the next day, he comes skulking out of the woods. Friggin' coward. They tell me he had a real creepy sorta 'benign' smile, too. "So was I *ever* happy when he got that dishonorable discharge!" Bas-Jan -- An Official RASSM Jedi Master -- in dark empire - bulk cruisers - short for rec arts sf starwars misc - the a stands for ann she's a woman - no he doesn't -- http://www.seneca.demon.nl/nil/ - Nil & Void