From: gerthein@wxs.nl (Gerthein Boersma)
Subject: Re: Imagine... it's 2010...
Date: Wed, 01 Apr 1998 11:52:24 GMT

[This post  is brought to you courtesy of April Fools Day, Conan O'Brien,
chronic sleep deprivation, and the letters L, A, M and E. You have been
warned.]



But enough off-topic chit-chat, it is time to once again direct our gaze...
into the future.

(RASSM THRONG: "The future, Gerthein?")

That's right, friends for life. Let us all look to the future. All the
way... to the year 2010....


In the year 2010...


... due to yet another virus released upon RASSM by Ashly Snow, all posts
to the group will from then on be reduced to several lines of incoherent
gibberish. At first, no-one will notice anything out of the ordinary, until
posts made by Sal and Rina suddenly start making sense to someone.

...  Sith War XXII will have become so lame... that all participants decide
to chip in to hire former staff-writers of "Family Matters", "Growing
Pains" and "Full House" to spruce things up.

... The Spice Girls will announce that they are "very interested" in making
a cameo appearance in the next Star Wars sequel which will then be in
production. This announcement will get a chuckle out of the manager of the
local K-Mart, where they all work.

... the flamewar between Duggy and John Wooten will again erupt in full
force, when Wooten misinterprets Duggy's remark of "I'm tired of fighting,
let's just be friends now" as being intended as a harsh personal attack.

.... the movie Titanic will *still* be No.1 at the Box Office.... 
                                                ...ON THE PLANET SUCKO!!! 

... initial excitement about Rich Handley being offered the job of writing
the screenplay to the final episode in the Star Wars nonology... will soon
turn to horror when Ain't It Cool News reports that the working title
Handley's come up with is "Episode IX: Star Trek Rulez".

... in re-release, The Empire Strikes Back will finally pass E.T. in terms
of all-time Box Office success, prompting Lucas to place a good-natured ad
in Variety which will show Lobot royally kicking the Extra Terrestrial's
sorry old Spielbergian ass.

... in a curious example of life imitating art, Microsoft actually *will*
buy the RASSM newsgroup in reality. However, mere weeks after that,
Microsoft will itself be bought by the bigger and even more powerful
"Farmboy" Corporation.

... the Star Wars novels will have grown so unpopular, that an offer to
write one of them is turned down by a cautious "Satiricus Rex".

... the RASSM Reorg debate will be settled once and for all when a CFV for
rec.arts.sf.starwars.nazis, proposed by CCS and The Kid with the admitted
sole purpose of spiting Filmjerk... passes with flying colors.

... George Lucas himself will finally show up on the #rassm IRC chat
channel. No-one will recognize him, however, because he will pretend to be
a voluptuous blond coed named Amber.

.... RASSM will spend several weeks in shock when a movie that Aaron Snyder
announces is in his personal Top Ten list turns out to be.... rather good.

... in an unexpected turn of events, James W. King will successfully sue
all of RASSM for defamation. To be able to pay the compensation that the
courts award King, the RASSM Throng will have no choice but to force their
beloved mascot Barq to... "sell it on the street".

.... the footage of the Stormtrooper hitting his head in ANH will be found
at last. It turns out Jimmy Hoffa had it on him the whole time, during his
vacation to the Bermuda triangle with his best friend Elvis.

... James Trory will once again leave in a huff, after the 24-bit color,
high-resolution scanned picture of Cloud City he uses in his signature...
is mistaken by someone for a cake on a stick.


And finally, in the year 2010...


... Nathan Masters will be doubly vindicated when it is at long last
revealed that A.C. Crispin is, in fact, a gay man named Chucky Waldman.



- Gerthein                             (-o-)
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... a frightening look at things to come...   
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