From: ted3000@aol.com (Ted 3000)
Subject: ***Official RASSM SW Delusion List***
Date: 9 Jul 1997 01:26:58 GMT

The following are all major delusions that laser-brain newbies suffer from.

1: Biggs Fever.
Victims of Biggs Fever will swear to GOD they saw a version of A New Hope
that started with Luke watching the space battle over tatooin through a
dusty pair of macrobinoculars, followed by scenes of Luke and Bigs hanging
out with Fixer, Camie, Deak, Tank and the gange at Tosce Station.
(We all know this is caused by the Star Wars storybook, featuring several
photos from this filmed yet UNSEEN sequence. Add this to a little kid's
active imagination, add action figures, and stir. Wait ten years, then add
the script, the radio drama, the novel, ect. Wahm! Usenetizens will line
up for blocks to declare thier stupidity.

2: Continiuty Meltdown.
Feeling a little cramped in the SW Galaxy lately? That's because in a rush
to get the most BANG for your hard earned SW Cash, an entire legion of
Novels good and bad, comic books, CD-Roms, platform games, ect have been
published. Lucas dosn't read 'em, Lucasfilm only approves them if they
don't TOTALLY contridict each other, and lot's of them are terrible. Just
because some forgotten video game said that the Emperor's middle name is
Percival dosn't mean it's true. The Sequels, if they are ever made, won't
even glance back as the continuity steamroller squashed hundreds of hack
writer's ideas. Sorry, Zahn! One thing's for sure, you're all gonna be a
lot thinner! The Continuity Meltdown will surely sadden many nerds.
Symptoms of this affliction are debates over the capabilities of ships
that never appeared in the movies versus obscure ships from Star Trek.
Chewbacca dosn't have a son named Lumpy and Han and Leia arn't married. We
don't really know. Concider the peripheral projects like a DC "Elseworlds"
graphic novel.

3: Boba Fettish
People who belive that Boba Fett is the center of the Star Wars galaxy.
Yeah, Fett is a cool looking bad-ass, but Greedo has more lines than Fett
does. Get over him. the movie is about Luke and Vader.

4: RASSM SPASM
People who are deluded into the belief system that
rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc is an open forum to display thier antisocial
flaming talents. This includes over-anylitical posts such as this one, and
the CHUCKY aspect. RASSM is about Star Wars, not RASSM.

5: Jedi Knight Delusion
Rassmers halucinating that they are somehow IN the SW galaxy, who's
cryptic posts read like a role-playing-game gone nuts. Save it for the
Trekkies, folks. I love you nutty SW Phreaks, but when you show up to the
movies dressed as Stormtroopers, I feel embarresed for Star Warriors
everywhere. And the film was Face Off! (Just kidding, that was a cheap,
vaudeville style joke. Yikes.)

6: Cantina Singles Night
RASSM is not a groovy singles dive. For all we know, we are all of the
opposite gender we portray, and gay on top of that. Who knows? Internet
romance is creepy and often ends harshly. In deferrence to that, any
groovy laides wanna get togather with Ted 3000 after this post? Meet you
at the abandoned warehouse of funk.


That's all I can generate. Anyone else have a few, and cures for what
ailes RASSM? Respond or Boba Fett will personally kill you. No Foolin'!