Date: 31 Oct 1998 05:03:40 GMT From: Kentaro P Maeda Subject: Saving up to %50 in the Star Wars Universe Lobot: "Hey Lando, can I borrow the phone? I would like to call Coruscant and spread the word of my funkiness?" Lando: "Okay, but as Administrator of Cloud City, I am in charge of the economy, and there is no better way to save money than by using 10-10-BESP. with BespinBell's new long distance rates, you could save up to 50% on calls, even to Coruscant!" Lobot: "Wow, I guess 10-10-BESP is the funkiest way to call long distance!" Both: "Haha!" Voiceover: "Use 10-10-BESP to call long distance: it's -the- choice for responsible leaders!" Gonk: "Gonk. Gonk." 3PO: "What? You want to call collect so someone can rescue us from the Jawas, but you're out of credits?" Gonk: "Gonk. Gonk." 3PO: "Well then, I do suggest you use 1-800-CREDSAVE! It's the cheapest way to call collect, and you can save up to 65%!" Gonk: "Gonk. Gonk" 3PO: "That's right, Gonk! And I use it to call anyone in the universe and put my 6 million forms of communication to use!" Both laugh in their respective languages. R2 (voiceover): "Beep-doot-beep-beep-doot." On-screen translation: "Use 1-800-CREDSAVE for your collect calls! It's the easy way to save up to 65%, and you don't know have to know a power socket from a computer terminal to know that's a lot of credits!" __________________________________________________________________________ Date: 1 Nov 1998 07:16:20 GMT From: Kentaro P Maeda Subject: Saving up to %50 in the Star Wars Universe A stormtrooper on the Death Star allows 3PO to take R2 over to maintenance. He closes the door and looks at the camera, taking off his helmet. It's Dennis Miller: " 'Ay, pal. Tired of the campy credit-saving rhetoric? Use 10-10-IMP! Make 20-minute transmissions on Sunday, and they'll only cost ya 1/10 of a credit! You'll save more money than some Coruscantian pyurop riding a T-72 speeder like his ass got scorched by the Emperor's Force lightning! And you don't have to be some corpulent existentialist macro-phylego-bourgeoisic bounty hunter who listens to Max Rebo on his YT-7000's SullustTek stereo system while moving at .4 past light speed to realize that 10-10-IMP is the Gundark ear-pullin' way to save a Hutt's weight in credits!" __________________________________________________________________________ Date: 1 Nov 1998 08:24:13 GMT From: CandyFish Subject: Re: Saving up to %50 in the Star Wars Universe On Tatooine, the camera enters a small adobe house, to find a man with white hair and a beard, wearing brown robes. He turns to face the camera - it's George Carlin. "You ever wonder why the Imps call it communication service? You're lucky to get any communication at all, and the only service you get is a gaffi stick served up your behind! That's why I use 1-800-USE-FORCE - it's only 1/1000th of a credit for 40 hours every day. It's a good deal from the Good Side. Use it to call friends, family, and that restaurant that served you blue food last night. You did know there was no blue food, didn't you?" _____________________________________________________________________________