From: shl10@cornell.edu (Simon H. Lee)
Subject: Re: Titanic Vs. Star Destroyer
Date: Sun, 01 Mar 1998 05:55:58 GMT

Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've
constructed, Scottie Prince...

>Oh, come on... it's better than worrying about who made how much and is
>number whatever...

        Let's see:

Sheer size:  Star Destroyer
Sheer size in comparison with other things:  Titanic  (Unfortunately for the 
        ISD, they keep coming up with bigger ships for the Empire ;) )
Appearance:  Star Destroyer.
Appearance in a non-sadistic way:  Titanic.
Capacity:  Star Destroyer.  (That's how many thousands of troopers?)
Accommodations:  Titanic.  (Wood trim or generic gray metal paneling?  
        Wood's nice...)
Firepower:  Star Destroyer.
Speed:  Star Destroyer.
Crew:  Titanic.  (Sure, they both have English crews.  But I don't see       
        stormtroopers waiting around to refill everyone's coffee.  (Well,    
        except maybe for Piett. ;) )
Desirability of being aboard it:  Hmm, tough call.  As an Imperial, one's 
        bound to end up dying under Rebel blaster fire, turbolaser fire, 
        having A-wings come through your window... and you have to bunk with 
        a bunch of guys in the same military-drab decor all the time.  The 
        Titanic's nicer, but only for about two days... :|
Ability to withstand 1000 Ewok passengers:  Titanic.  (Let's face it, there 
are a lot more critical components to break on the Star Destroyer.)

Anyone else?
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From: ausui@ix.netcom.com (Arlene Usui)
Subject: Titanic:Star Wars Edition
Date: Wed, 04 Mar 1998 19:45:50 GMT

In honor of Titanic's reputedly average script, I hereby present:

     "Titanic:Star Wars Edition (The Worst of Both Worlds)


Jack, boarding Titanic: "Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh!
	I'm not afraid."

Woman with two kids: "Oh, you will be. You will be."

Jack to his friend in third class: "I don't know, what do you
	think? Do you think a princess and a guy like me. . . "

Jack's friend: "No!"

[that evening]

Jack saving Rose: "No. You're coming with me. I can't leave
	you here. I've got to save you."

Jack, trying to get a rise out of Rose: "I think you just can't
	bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight."

Rose: ""Don't get excited."

[next day]

Rose to Titanic's designer : "Don't be too proud of this
	technological terror you've constructed."

Designer: "Don't get excited."

[that night]

Rose to Cal, after he gives her the necklace: "You don't have
	to do this to impress me."

Cal to Jack at the formal dinner: "We don't serve
	their kind here!"

Jack to Cal, under his breath: "Laugh it up, fuzz ball. But you
	didn't see us alone in the south passage."

[later that night]

Rose, to herself, as she dances in third class: "I thought they
	smelled bad on the outside!"

[next morning]

Cal to Rose, at breakfast: "You're a feisty little one, but you'll
	soon learn some respect."

[much laaaater]

Jack to Rose, while showing her the car: ""Don't get excited."

[meanwhile, on deck]

Crewman 1: "Do you know what's going on?"

Crewman 2: "Maybe it's another drill."

Crewman 1: "What was that?"

Crewman 2: "Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it."

Cabin boy: "Sir, if I may venture an opinion... There's
	something out there."

Crewman 1: Why don't you outrun them? I thought you said
	this thing was fast."

Crewman 2: "Watch your mouth, kid, or you're going to find
	yourself floating home."

Crewman 1: "Why are we still moving towards it?"

Crewman 2: "There's nothin' I can do about it, kid. I'm in
	full power. I'm going to have to shut down. But
	they're not going to get me without a fight!"

Crewman 1: "Look at the size of that thing!"

Cabin boy: "We're doomed!"

[twenty minutes later]

First officer: "The first transport is away."

[twenty minutes later still]

Cal, on spotting Jack and Rose: "Then I'll see you in hell!"

Cal to his manservant: "It's them! Blast them!"

Captain on the bridge: "I promised to return his ship without a
	scratch...I sure hope that old pirate forgives me."

Telegraph operator on a distant ship: "I felt a great disturbance
	in the Force. . .  as if millions of voices suddenly cried
	out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something
	terrible has happened."

Everybody who bought a large soft drink: "I have a very bad
	feeling about this."

		*     *     *     *     *

Rose to Lovett (Bill Paxton): "Hmm. That face you make. Look I
	so old to young eyes? Soon will I rest. Yes, forever sleep.
	Earned it, I have."

Lovett, to himself: "Yeah, I just got a funny feeling. Like I'm
	not gonna see her again."

Rose, smiling in her sleep: "Young fool. . . only now, at the end,
	do you understand."



-arlene

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"... poetry... they shoulda sent a poet..."
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