From: ted3000@aol.com (Ted 3000)
Subject: [reposts] T R A I N S P O T T I N G the SE
Date: 28 Jan 1998 20:27:54 GMT

I found the following cuss filled posts in Dejanews! Whoo-Hoo!
 I wrote them in late 96/early 97,
LONG before Ewan Macgregor was confirmed or rumored to be in Episode I.

Was I divinely inspired? Merely Insane? You be the Judge.

Since my posts, others have posted Trainspotting/ Star Wars
things, but i maintain mine as the original.

Not for everyones tastes, but if you have seen Trainspotting,
or better yet, read the Irvine Welsh novel, you may enjoy.

(I must have had the force)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Subject:      T R A I N S P O T T I N G  2
From:         ted603@aol.com (Ted603)
Date:         1997/01/06
Message-ID:   <19970106193400.OAA04038@ladder01.news.aol.com>
Newsgroups:   rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc
[More Headers]


The First Day of the Special Edition

Third time lucky. It wis like Sick Boy telt us: You've got tae know what
it's like tae try to come off the THX tapes before you can dae it.
 
Spud and maself had made a solemn swear we wouldna watch our auld Star Wars
tapes an laserdiscs one month before ay special editions preimire.

First off was to loan your tapes tae someone who woulna giv em tae ya without
a fight, saylike. I gave ma tapes to ma mate Begby, the great psycho radge. 

Sick Boy has said "Sho you wanna shee what its like, sho you
can acurately judge your toloerensh. Do you she the tapehs?"

"Clear enough, Mrs. Moneypenny"

"Do you she them in your shights?"

That draftpak is the man, 007 like.

I had ma VCR and telly. 2 copies of the makin' of Star Wars, as told by
See-Threepio and his mate Artoo-Detoo, ten tins of cauld tomato soup, a
carton of Dunhil Fags, two boatils of milk of magnesia, a copy of Star Trek,
First contact (In case of a panic withdrawin from SW) and a tub of ice cream. 

I wis ready, like.  Then it hit me. I neeeded to have one
last viewing of the classic trillogy, to ease ma weary bones. 

So I dialed up Begby from the payphone in the hall, be the cunt wanna not home.


Shite.

I would have to walk down to the links and rent a copy from the videojoint.
I had only a couple of pounds, so I would only be able to rent one, and one
only. Ma heid was spinnin'. A New Hope or Empire? How dea you decide that?
_____________________________________________________________________________
Subject:      T R A I N S P O T T I N G the SE
From:         ted603@aol.com (Ted603)
Date:         1997/01/03
Message-ID:   <19970103185400.NAA21918@ladder01.news.aol.com>
Newsgroups:   rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc
[More Headers]


-Git the fuck away from me, ya daft cunt! 
Sais Spud, who's pished oot of his heid. We was at the Eidenburgh Cinemaplex,
an ma gear was being used by ma mate, Spud, in a most unsecretlike manner. It
was the myself, Mark Renton and we were at the Star Wars special edition,
like. Me, junk and speed, and Spud, who has had three voddy's an coke, and
who's now jamming my gear into his dark blue wiring.

-Mind the needle, Spud, ah sais.

We was watching the commin attractions uf this awful lookin romantic comedy
starring this cunt and this burd. It wis like just a filler until Star Wars
comes up. I had seen it on the telly a million times, and ma Ma owned a copy
on video. Supposedly, this version will ave Jabba, a real hard man, meetin
with Han Solo in order to collect. Han gives him shite and suchlike. 

The only real problem is supposed ta be this part where Greedo, one of
Jabba's mates, goes in for the kill, but now he's doin' it so that Han seems
like moral ta do 'im. I canna understand why they made him shoot his lazer off
first.  Spud, who'd just assume be watching fitba, has gotton that junk
apathy, where he no cares about shite. He's going on how he wants to shag
Leia. He stashed the gear away before the great bonny fathied usher can shine
his pocketlight at us.

I'm settled down, feeling the life giving and life takin heroin pulsing
through me system like a bullet, and Ah m watching the Tantive four taking
a beating by the Star Destroyer. 

It used to be all aboot Iggy, the Man, but now it's all Star Wars special
edition, like. All else is shite. Maybe Begby will ave extra tickets for
tommorow. 

Choose Star Wars. 
Choose a 3 piece suite. 
Choose electrical tin openers.
Choose Lobot, the android/cyborg Man. 
Choose a 40 inch telly with dolby surround. 
Choose Luke.
Choose life.